


With Coco’s help

by thousand_miles



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2019-09-29 10:30:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 28,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17201834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thousand_miles/pseuds/thousand_miles
Summary: The movie Coco gives Noah an idea to help his Uncle Rafa who’s told him about his abuelita who passed away and he still misses.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the Barson Secret Santa Exchange, where I got the request to write a fic with Noah, Rafael and Olivia in it, I’ve now started a second fic with these three. Turns out I love writing Noah and Rafael even though I haven’t seen any episode with them in it. I like the idea of Noah and Rafael spending time together, but also the three of them as a family. I also really love the movie Coco which I think is beautiful and so very sweet. The day of the dead and how it’s celebrated is beautiful. So I combined all this and came up with this one. This is part one. There will be a second chapter. I hope you enjoy.

It was Friday and she was in the kitchen preparing dinner for her and Noah. Mac and cheese for him, and for herself an easy to make salad. For the first time that week she’d finished at a decent hour at work and didn’t feel like spending a lot of time cooking. She was looking forward to spending some time with her son. He and Lucy had just finished watching Coco when she’d arrived home. The movie had made quite an impact Lucy had told her. She didn’t really know what the movie was about.  
   
“Mommy?”  
   
She turned around and watched her son join her in the kitchen. He was holding Eddie in his hand. He sat down and looked at her. “Yes, sweetheart.”  
   
“When is it the Day of the Dead holiday?”  
   
She had no idea. “I don’t know.” She plated the mac and cheese for him and sat it down on the kitchen table.  
   
“Can you look it up?”  
   
“Euuh.., sure.” She quickly put her salad on the table too and pored two glasses of water for the both of them. “How about we eat first and you tell me about school?”  
   
Noah agreed, but wasn’t very talkative during their meal. His mind clearly occupied by something else. He did finish his meal rather fast. “Can you look it up now?” He asked his mother once more.  
   
She hadn’t finished her meal yet. Noah was slightly bouncing on his chair, impatient for answers. “Why do you want to know?”  
   
“For uncle Rafa.”  
   
She smiled at the mention of Rafael’s name. He’d become a somewhat permanent fixture in their lives. He joined them on days to the park or dinners or Saturday afternoons relaxing and watching a movie at her home. Sometimes, after especially harrowing cases, he took Noah out to give her some time for herself to relax. To Noah his uncle Rafa hung the moon and he loved spending time with him.  And she, she loved seeing them together. Her relationship with Rafael was still somewhat undetermined. They’d definitely grown closer. When in the park together he would wrap his arm around her shoulder and pull her against his side; or when they were at her house, watching a movie with Noah, she snuggled against his side. She loved their newfound closeness and sought it out as often as she could and he didn’t seem to mind. Their transition from best friends to whatever they were now, was easy and she was looking forward to even more. These days, when she pictured her future, he was always there at her side and it turned into their future.  “Can you tell me a bit more?”  
   
Noah got up from his chair and immediately started to tell her about Miguel and Coco and how Miguel becomes invisible and only his family who is already dead can see him. The movie had clearly made an impression. His explanation of the story full of big gestures and moves and his voice full with excitement. When he was finished though, and he looked at her with big eyes fully expecting her to understand it all now. She wasn’t sure what it had to do with Rafael or the Day of the Dead.  
   
“Can you look it up now?” Noah asked again.

Olivia grabbed her phone and looked it up. She quickly found it. “It’s November 2nd.” That was a week from now.  
   
“When’s that?”  
   
“That’s next week, on Saturday.”  
   
“Yes.” Noah clapped his hands excitedly. He quickly turned pensive again. “We have to watch the movie again.”  
   
“Don’t you want to watch it Saturday with uncle Rafa?” She still didn’t know what her son’s plan was.  
   
Noah shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe.”  
   
“Do you want to celebrate with uncle Rafa?” If he did she had no problem with that.  
   
“Maybe.” He said once more. “I don’t want to make uncle Rafa sad.”  
   
She was really at a loss here. Why would he think Rafael would be sad? She held out her hand for Noah, which he immediately grabbed. She gently pulled him closer and lifted him on her lap. “I’m pretty sure you won’t make him sad. Tell me what you want to do. Maybe I can help?”  
   
He leaned against his mother and started to explain. “Uncle Rafa told me about his abu.., abue.” He struggled with the word.  
   
“Abuelita.” Oliva helped him.  
   
Noah nodded. “He said he misses her. That she’s in heaven now. Maybe if we make an altar she can find her way back and visit?” He looked up at his mother. “Will you help?”  
   
She smiled. “Sweet boy, off course I’ll help.” Noah’s idea warmed her heart. She loved that he wanted to do this for his uncle. “I think it would make him very happy. Let’s see what we can find about the altar and we’ll watch the movie again, okay?” Not only did she wonder when Rafael had told Noah about his grandmother, but also how the topic had come up.    
   
“No.”  
   
“No?”  
   
“We have to call uncle Rafa and ask if we can visit next week.”  
   
“Okay.”  
   
“But you can’t tell him why. It’s a surprise.”  
   
“How about I call and you can ask him?”  
   
Seeing her son’s affirmative nod, she grabbed her phone and, found his contact information. Before she could dial his number though, Noah requested she’d facetime with him, which she reluctantly did. She hardly ever phoned Rafael, but Noah sometimes did when he wanted to tell him something and facetime had become their thing. Pressing facetime she handed the phone to Noah. He took the phone and walked into the living room.  
   
It wasn’t long before Noah came back and handed her the phone. “Uncle Rafa wants to talk to you.”  
   
“Hey.” She greeted him with a soft smile. It was good to see him, his warm smile and gentle eyes warming her.  
   
“Hi.” He greeted her. “So Noah wants to come visit next week. I’m not really sure what it’s about. He was very secretive. Just wanted to check if it’s okay with you.”  
   
“Yeah it’s okay. But if you have other plans…”  
   
“No, I don’t. You two are always welcome, you know that.”  
   
She watched him for a moment. She saw he was still in his work clothes, the blue tie loosened at the collar and the top button of his grey shirt unbuttoned.  
   
“How about dinner? I’ll cook for you two and then Noah can surprise me.”  
   
“That sounds nice. It’s a date.”  
   
He stayed silent and looked at her, his head titled to the side. “Yeah…, it is.” He paused. “Have a nice evening, Liv.”  
   
Her eyes softened at his gentle voice. “You too Rafael.”  
   
“Bye uncle Rafa!” Noah added, appearing next to Olivia to bid his uncle goodnight.  
   
He laughed. “Adios mi amigo.”

TBC...


	2. The surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Noah are ready to reveal the surprise to Rafael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s chapter two which I thought would be the final chapter, but apparently it isn’t. I’m enjoying writing these three. Thank you for those who left kudos and reviewed. I’m glad you’re liking this. Also, if you haven’t seen Coco, please so watch it because it’s such a beautiful movie.

As expected the whole Coco project, which was how Noah had started calling it, had turned into a lot of work. He was taking it very serious. She and Noah had read up on what the altar should contain. She had to reign in his enthusiasm otherwise the altar would have gotten too big. So they’d decided to focus on a couple of items. There were the colored tissues they’d cut into flowers and birds. Then there was the food, bread, fruit and candy. Noah had made sure there was enough candy. The tricky part was the personal items that were needed. He needed a picture of Rafael’s grandmother and things that would honor her life. She had tried to persuade her son some general things would do and Rafael would have a picture of his grandmother. That wasn’t of enough for Noah. He wanted the surprise to be ready for his uncle. So he’d asked her to call Rafael’s mother. Realizing Noah wasn’t going to be happy until she did, she’d called Lucia Barba. That had turned into an evening spend at Lucia’s house. She’d prepared dinner for them and after dinner she’d had shown them Rafael’s photo album. Olivia wasn’t sure if Rafael would be happy that she’d seen them, but she sure wasn’t going to forget his baby photo. They’d left with a photo, a ring and a book. Now they were at Rafael’s house with a ridiculous amount of bags. She had actually had to make two trips from the car to get everything up to Rafael’s door. She’d even brought a bag of clothes. Noah had been impatient and excited the entire day and she suspected he would fall asleep early. The fact that she’d quickly packed some extra clothes for herself didn’t really mean anything. Not that she had actually convinced herself of that.

She rang the doorbell and only had to wait a moment before it opened.

“Uncle Rafa.” Noah jumped up, excited to finally give his uncle his surprise. 

Rafael crouched down and hugged the boy against his chest. “Hi, mi amigo.” He looked up to Olivia and greeted her with a soft hello. 

“We, euhh, brought some stuff.” Olivia gestured at the bags at her feet. 

“I can see that. What is all this?” 

“It’s the surprise, uncle Rafa.” Noah had already made his way into the apartment.

“I suspected as much.” He mumbled. “It turned into quite a project, huh?”

“He can be very determined.” 

“Just like his mother.” Rafael grabbed the bags and waited for Olivia to enter his apartment before going back inside himself.

He put the bags in his living room before he turned towards Olivia. He took the bags she held from her and put them down. Then he took her coat from her and hung it up. She was wearing jeans, black shirt with a grey cardigan. He smiled. She looked beautiful. He was happy she was here with him. 

Olivia helped Noah out of his coat and hung it up next to hers. “Smells great here. You really cooked for us?” 

“Don’t act so surprised. I’ve done that before.” 

“I know, but after a busy day..” She drifted off, not finishing the sentence. 

“I enjoy cooking for you two.” 

He shrugged as if it was nothing special, but to her it was. She smiled as she watched him talk to Noah. It hit her then, it hit her hard because there was no longer any doubt. This, the three of them, that’s what she wanted and she didn’t want to wait anymore.

“Liv, you okay?” 

He’d caught her lost in thought. “Yes, everything is... good. Really good.” 

He titled his head and looked at her. There was something in her eyes that he couldn’t identify. “Sure?” He asked again.

“Yes.” She had to look away from him. She could get lost in his green eyes especially when he looked at her like that, with such warmth and love in his eyes. Had he looked at her like that before? Had she just never recognized it, or hadn’t she been ready to see it? 

He didn’t quite know what to make of that look in her eyes, but knew he had to let it go. He wanted to go to her and hold her close. “Shall we eat?” 

“What do you say Noah?” This was his surprise after all. 

“I don’t know.”

Rafael and Olivia exchanged looks, both noticing Noah looked a bit unsure of himself. Rafael pointed over his shoulder and went into the kitchen to give them a moment. 

“What is it, sweetheart?” Olivia crouched down next to her son.

“What if uncle Rafa doesn’t like it? What if it makes him sad?” His voice was soft, small and his eyes big as he looked at his mother.

“I promise you uncle Rafa will be happy with it? Maybe he gets a bit sad, but that isn’t a bad thing.”

“You promise?” 

She nodded. “Yes, I promise you.” She looked at him to make sure he was okay.   
“How about we eat first and then we’ll get his surprise ready?”

“Yes.” The smile on his face was back again as was the excitement. “Can I start preparing already?”

“How about we do that after dinner together?” They would need a table to put the altar on and she didn’t trust Noah to not damage anything in the living room. “Let’s go set the table.” 

They joined Rafael in the kitchen who welcomed them both with a warm smile. “You two okay?” 

“Yes, we are.” Olivia ruffled her son’s hair. 

“You want to help set the table, Noah?” Rafael asked. After an affirmative nod he put the plates, knives, forks and glasses on the table, leaving it up to Noah to set the table properly. 

He joined Olivia at the kitchen counter she was leaning against. He stepped in front of her, giving them a bit of privacy. He ducked his head to catch her eyes and waited for her to start talking. He wasn’t going to push. 

“He’s a bit anxious about his surprise.” Olivia explained in a soft voice. She didn’t want Noah to hear them. 

“He thinks I won’t like it?”

“He’s afraid it’ll make you sad.” She grabbed the blue sweater he was wearing in her hands and pulled him a bit closer till she could put her forehead on his shoulder.

Her move, far from unpleasant, startled him. He was usually the one who initiated their closeness. He resisted the urge to kiss her head. “Sad?”

“Yeah. I can’t tell you anymore.” 

“Okay.” He squeezed her hip before stepping back to the stove rather reluctantly. 

After dinner and cleaning up, Rafael was ordered to stay in the kitchen while Noah and Olivia started on the surprise. She had asked him if it was okay to move some things around. It was fine by him, but it did make him all the more curious. While he waited he prepared coffee for him and Olivia and a hot chocolate milk for Noah. He could hear Noah and Olivia talking and moving things around. He waited patiently for any sign that he could join them in his living room.

Finally Noah joined him in the kitchen and grabbed his hand leading him to the living room. His console table was colorfully decorated with all kinds of items. He didn’t quite know what it was and what it meant. He glanced at Olivia before focusing back on Noah and his surprise.

“What do we have here?” 

Olivia watched and listened on as Noah started to talk about the movie Coco and the Day of the Dead. Rafael listened closely to everything Noah was saying about the celebration and the altar that was needed. When he got closer to the table he noticed his abuelita’s picture. He swallowed thickly and glanced at Olivia again. “What’s this amigo?”

“It’s for your abue.., abuelita so she can come visit you tomorrow. Then you don’t have to miss her so much.”

He was deeply touched that Noah had done all this for him. He’d talked to Noah about his grandmother a couple of weeks ago when he’d been looking at a picture of her he had in his apartment. He had told her about the amazing woman she was, about how strong and beautiful she was and how he still missed her. This sweet gesture, it caught him by surprise. He was fighting hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. “This is..” The words caught in his throat. He looked at Olivia for help. 

“Don’t you like it uncle Rafa?” The little boy’s voice timid, afraid he’d done the wrong thing. 

“I love it, Noah.” He crouched down next to him and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him against his chest. “It’s perfect.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yes.” He kissed the boy’s hair and got back on his feet. “I’ll just go grab us our drinks before they get cold and then you can tell me everything about this altar.” It would give him the time he needed to get his emotions back under control.

TBC...


	3. A tear, a laugh and some giggling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Olivia share a moment. Noah and Olivia tease Rafael about his baby picture. All in all just some fluff and sweetness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished chapter three faster than expected and again this turned out no to be the last chapter. I hope you still enjoy.

She quietly walked into the kitchen. She watched him. He was standing at the counter, head bowed and his hands spread on the counter in front of him. She stepped up next to him and put her hand on the small of his back. She didn’t say a word. He would talk if he wanted to and if he didn’t that was fine too. 

“He..” His voice cracked. He took a deep breath and tried again. “He caught me off guard with..” He gestured to the living room. 

“I know.” 

“I don’t want him to think that I don’t appreciate it because I do. It’s so beautiful and I love it and I love him.” He whispered. “I love that he thought of me and wanted to do this for me. It’s just a bit overwhelming.” He finally looked over his shoulder at her. Her dark brown eyes, so beautiful and expressive, were looking right through him.

She wondered if he realized he’d just said he loved her son. She covered his hand with hers. “Let’s go back to Noah. Let him show you what he’s made and tell him how you feel.”

He nodded his head. He turned his body towards her, took both her hands in his to pull her closer. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He took a deep breath, taking in her scent and tightening his arms around her. “Thank you, Liv.” His thank you so much bigger than this single moment.

“Always, Rafael.” She squeezed him tight before reluctantly stepping out of his arms. “Go. I’ll bring us our drinks.”

He held on to her hand, to her fingers as long as he could before making his way back to Noah. Olivia waited for a moment and then she joined them. She smiled watching them standing before the altar Noah had made for his uncle. Rafael on his knees, next to her son, with his arm around the little boy’s waist listening to Noah’s explanation about each piece on the altar. She saw how Noah leaned against him, trusting his uncle completely. She sat down on the couch and gave them their moment. 

“We went to grandma Lucia.” Noah explained.

“Really?” Rafael was surprised. He couldn’t ignore the warmth that spread through his body that Noah was calling his mother grandma. For the second time this little boy managed to catch him completely off guard. “And how did that happen?” He asked Olivia. It seemed like the Benson family had a knack for catching him off guard.

“Well we needed personal items for the altar.” She shrugged as if it was no big deal and the reason was obvious enough.

“So you just called her?”

“We did.”

“Grandma Lucia cooked for us and showed us your pictures.” Noah joined in.

“She did what now?”

“We looked at your baby pictures, Rafael.” Olivia grinned. His answering glare making her laugh. “You were very cute.”

“You were naked.” Noah giggled.

“Excuse me?” What pictures did his mother show them? He looked from Olivia to Noah, hoping one of them would explain.

“Want to tell Uncle Rafa about the picture?”

Noah shook his head still giggling. Olivia smiled and agreed with her son. It was too much fun not to. 

“No?” Rafael glared at Olivia who seemed unfazed and kept laughing. He then turned to Noah and advanced on him. “Are you sure about that, Noah?” 

Noah nodded. To be sure though he backed away from his uncle towards his mother. He glanced at her. “Mommy, help.” Olivia quickly walked over to her son and hid him behind her legs. 

“You think your mother can safe you, huh?” Rafael had advanced on them both now. 

Noah looked from behind his mother’s legs and nodded. “Mommy’s the best.” 

“She is.” There was no doubt about that. Now standing in front of them Rafael glared at Olivia once more. 

“That doesn’t work on me, counselor.” Recognizing his court room glare. It might work questioning suspects on the stand but it didn’t work on her.

“It doesn’t, huh?” He pretended to think a moment and it was just enough to make Olivia relax and Noah to step from behind his mother’s legs. He took his chance and grabbed Noah, lifted him in his arms and started tickling him. “Want to tell me about the picture mi amigo?” He tried again convinced this tactic would work.

Noah shook his head. He was laughing loudly from his uncle’s arms. “Mommy.” He called for her between laughs. 

“No, your mom can’t help you.”

“Mommy.”

“How about we find out if Uncle Rafa’s ticklish?” Now it was Olivia who was advancing on Rafael who immediately backed away with her son still in his arms. “It looks like uncle Rafa’s scared. Start tickling Noah.” Having backed him into a corner, Olivia lifted Noah from Rafael’s arms and together they started tickling him. There was nowhere to run for him and he quickly caved in knowing he stood no chance against both Bensons. 

“Mercy, mercy. I give up.” He held up his hands in surrender.

Olivia held up her hand to high five her son which he did with a little jump. “It’s our secret, right Noah?”

He nodded again before going back to the altar they’d made. Their tickle fight had knocked the picture over which he wanted to put back up again. 

“So you’re not going to tell me, huh?” Rafael asked. He was leaning against the wall looking a bit disheveled from the tickle fight. 

“No.” She grinned and teased him. “But I’m sure not going to forget that picture any time soon.” Laughing she turned to walk away from him. His arm that wound her waist prevented her form doing so and instead she ended with her back against his broad warm chest. 

“I’ll get you to talk, Liv.” He whispered against her hair. He brushed his lips against her neck and rocked them from side to side for a moment.

“Thank you, Rafael.” She said just as softly. She covered his hands, which were on her stomach, with hers. 

“For what?” 

“For this. For being so great with him.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that. You know that.” When he got no response he tried again. “I love spending time with him and with the both of you.”

She nodded. She knew that. She stayed there in his arms for a moment longer. When he kissed her cheek she smiled again. 

There was more he wanted to say to her, realizing they were both ready for their future. For now he would wait. He wanted to give her his full attention and now Noah needed his too. He entwined their fingers and both watched Noah. 

“I brought a bag.” Olivia suddenly blurted out.

He wasn’t quite sure where she was going with that. “You brought multiple bags.”

She shifted on her feet. She had to tell him now. There was no turning back. 

Rafael gave her hands a squeeze, hoping to reassure her. It felt as if she was ready to run and he didn’t understand why. He stayed silent and waited for her.

“I brought a bag of clothes for Noah and me.”

He smiled against her cheek. “I’m glad. We can spend the weekend together.” He kissed her cheek once more. 

“Uncle Rafa. Look at what else we got.” Noah called him over. 

TBC...


	4. Stay with us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael en Noah talk about the personal items on the altar and they watch the movie together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly Rafael en Noah and not so much Olivia and Rafael. I hope that’s not a disappointment. I like the idea of Noah seeking him out. To all those who are reading this. Thank you and I hope you enjoy this chapter to. I have no idea where this is going, but it needs at least one more chapter that is all Rafael and Olivia.

Rafael sat crossed legged on the floor in front of the altar with Noah on his lap leaning against his chest. Noah had asked him about the personal items, the ring and the book, wanting to know the story behind them. Olivia was on the couch, letting them have their moment but in short enough distance to hear them.  
   
Rafael had the ring in the palm of his hand. It was a simple golden band with an oval cut diamond. “The ring is my abuelita’s engagement ring. She told me my grandfather had been away for work for weeks. He’d been saving money to be able to buy her a ring. He had promised himself he would return to her when he had the ring. It took longer than expected but he managed. He couldn’t find the right ring though. Finally he found this small jewelry shop and asked the owner to design a ring. This is what they came up with. He finally returned home. He went to her work, got down on his knee and asked her to be his wife.” He got lost in the memory for a moment. His grandmother had told him this story many times and he never got tired of hearing it. Not long before her death his abuelita had made him promise he would give her ring to the woman he wanted to spend his life with. He couldn’t stop from himself from glancing over at Olivia, dreaming for a moment of possibilities.   
   
“It’s pretty.”  
   
“It is.”  
   
Noah stayed silent for a moment but Rafael could sense there was still something he wanted to say. He knew sometimes Noah needed a gentle push to tell what was on his mind. Other times though he needed to work through it on his own and he would ask what he wanted when he was ready for it. He suspected in this case Noah would tell him when he was ready. He let him hold the ring and Rafael grabbed the book. The book was old and the leather felt soft as he traced the cover. It was a book with poems and short stories. “This was her book. It has poems and short stories. She read them to me whenever I visited. All these items hold so many good memories. You picked out some good ones, Noah. She will like them.”

“Really?” 

“Yes.”

“Uncle Rafa?” Noah asked after a moment of silence.

“Hmm..” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Rafael ducked his head trying to look in the boy’s eyes but Noah kept his head firmly against Rafael’s chest. He wondered if this was what had been on his mind. “You have nothing to be sorry about.” Then it dawned on him. He pulled the boy closer against him and wrapped his other arm around him too. “I’m so happy with this surprise, Noah. It’s the best way to remember her and I love that it will be easier for her to visit me now.” He gathered his thoughts for a moment. He really wasn’t sure how to handle this but knew Noah deserved the truth. “Are you still worried I don’t like the surprise?”   
He felt the nod against his chest. “Because I needed to step away for a moment?”  
Again there was a nod. “And you were sad.” Was whispered against his chest.

“Yes, I was sad but that isn’t a bad thing.”

“It’s not?”

“No. Remembering her it makes me happy and sad. Sad because she’s no longer with me anymore. It makes me happy to talk about her, to share my stories with you. This is the best surprise anyone has ever given me. I’m so happy with it and I’m happy you and your mom are here with me.” 

“You promise?” Noah mumbled against his uncle’s chest.

“I promise you.” He kissed the boy’s head and held him tight. He felt the boy’s arms wrap around him.

“I love you uncle Rafa.” 

The boy’s words warmed his heart in a way he had never experienced before. “I love you too Noah.” After a moment Rafael wanted to cheer Noah up. “How about we watch Coco together?” He’d heard so much about the movie, but hadn’t seen it yet. 

Noah immediately got out of his uncle’s arms and was up his feet again. Rafael was a bit less fluent in getting up on his feet. Noah was back at his mother’s side as Rafael turned on the TV, opened his Netflix account and found the movie. Walking back to the couch, to join mother and son, Rafael caught Olivia’s eyes. He knew she’d heard everything and though he didn’t mind that, he did feel exposed. He felt insecure. What he saw in her eyes wiped away his insecurity. With her he knew his feelings, his insecurities, his heart were safe. 

“Will you sit with me, uncle Rafa?” 

“I will.” He sat down next to Noah who was now seated between the two adults. The boy immediately leaned against his side. He didn’t mind at all, though he would have liked to have cuddled up a bit with Olivia. 

The movie was a good one and Rafael understood why Noah was so taken with it. Not only did the movie look beautiful with all it’s bright colors, the music was great and most of all the story was heartwarming. Noah, despite having seen the movie twice now, was still as enthusiastic about it and commented on almost everything. Olivia had tried to get him to quiet down, telling him his uncle Rafa hadn’t seen Coco yet and otherwise would spoil it for him. It had no effect on him though and he kept on talking. It was only near the end of the movie when he quieted down and fell asleep against Rafael. Olivia and Rafael watched the end of the movie in silence.

“Let me get him to bed.” Olivia whispered. She was happy here with both of her men with her. She’d always wanted Noah to have a father figure in his life, but was reluctant to let anyone have that role. She didn’t want Noah to deal with potentially losing that father figure. She’d struggled with loss more than enough in her life to know she wanted to protect him from it for as long as she could. And so Noah had quite a few honorary uncles. The way Noah had drifted to Rafael had surprised her. Rafael had done the same with the way he’d easily fallen into the role of uncle Rafael. And now with them growing closer, Rafael had stepped up even more. When Noah was sad he comforted him, when Noah wanted to play, he played with him and when he needed help with his homework, Rafael had no problem helping him. 

“Wake up, sweet boy. Time to go to bed.” Olivia woke up her son.

Noah rubbed his eyes and sat up. He took his mother’s hand and together they stood up. “Good night uncle Rafa.”

“Sweet dreams, Noah.”

She helped Noah prepare for bed and when he was ready she tucked him in.

“Mommy?” Noah held Eddie the elephant tightly against his small chest.

“Yes sweetheart?” She bundled him up in the sheets, making sure he wouldn’t get cold. 

“Can you ask uncle Rafa to come and say goodnight again?” 

“Sure. Is something wrong?” It wasn’t the first time this evening that one of her men surprised her. 

“No.” 

Noah plucked at Eddie’s ears. A sign that he was nervous and his mother took notice. “I’ll go get uncle Rafa.” She kissed his forehead. “Love you, Noah. Sweet dreams.” 

“Love you too, mommy.” 

Just as Olivia was about to walk out the door, her son spoke up again.

“Mommy, can I play with uncle Rafa tomorrow?”

“Sure you can.”

“Can we go to the park?” 

“We’ll see tomorrow. Let me get uncle Rafa, okay?” She tried once to walk away when Noah started talking again.

“Just uncle Rafa, mommy.”

She nodded her head and went in search of Rafael. She found him in the kitchen. He’d just set two wine glasses on the counter. She leaned her hip against the other counter as he pored the red wine. 

“He go down okay?” Rafael asked.

“He’s asking for you.” 

“Me?” He put the cork back into the wine and sat it back down on the counter. 

“Yes you. He wanted to say good night again.” 

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” As he passed her his hand slid against her waist for a brief moment. Making his way to the guest bed room he could hear Noah’s soft voice. He smiled. He was probably talking to Eddie. 

Noah’s eyes lit up when he saw Rafael again. “Mi amigo.” Rafael said softly. He sat down on the edge of the bed. Noah slid a bit closer to him. 

“Uncle Rafa can you come stay with us?”

He didn’t quite understand what exactly Noah was asking. “What do you mean, Noah?”

“Can you stay with me and Mommy? Then we can play all the time and you don’t have to go away.” Noah explained. “I don’t want you to go away.” He admitted quietly.

TBC...


	5. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah and Rafael talk and it leaved Rafael feeling a bit unsure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who read this fic, who commented and left kudos. I’m glad you like it. I hope this chapter is okay. It’s a bit more serious compared to the others.

He was at a loss for words. He didn’t know how to answer Noah’s questions. Did he want to stay with the Benson family. Yes, he did without a doubt, but they were nowhere near that point. He and Olivia hadn’t even started dating yet. Or maybe they had. He didn’t really know. There was so much they still had to talk about. He hadn’t even kissed her yet. He wanted to. He’d wanted to kiss her for a long time now. He was so caught up in his thoughts and before he realized it, his lack of answer made Noah conclude he didn’t want to stay with them.

“You don’t want to stay.” Noah mumbled. He turned on his side, away from his uncle Rafa. 

Rafael knew he had to reassure him. He gently put his hand on Noah’s shoulder. He hoped it would get him to turn around. “I’m not going anywhere, Noah. I’ll always be here for you. I promise.”

“It’s not the same.”

“I know, but what you’re asking..., it’s not that easy.” He ran his hand through his hair. How was he going to explain this to Noah? 

“Why not?” Noah finally turned onto his back. “Don’t you like mommy?”

He did, very much so. “I do, but...”

“Don’t you like me?” 

“Noah, I love you. Still...” 

“You go to the park with us and watch movies. You help with my homework.” To Noah it was all rather simple. 

“Noah, listen to me for a moment, okay?” Seeing him nod, Rafael continued. “I love spending time with you and your mother. You can come visit me whenever you want. You’re always welcome here as is your mother. But I can’t stay with you all the time. I have to work. You have to go to school. Plus this is my home. This is where I live.” He felt confident his explanation was good enough.

Noah had another solution. “You can come live with us. Or we can come live with you.” 

The boy was tenacious. Something he’d clearly picked up from his mother. “Like I said, it’s not that easy. And you might not even like it when I’m staying with you both all the time.”

Noah shook his head. He was sure spending time with his uncle Rafa all the time would be great. He yawned and rolled onto his side.

Rafael ran his fingers through the boy’s hair. “We’ll talk some more about this another time. Go to sleep amigo. Dulces suenos.” He kept caressing Noah’s hair until the boy fell asleep. 

When Rafael returned to the living room to join Olivia on the couch he was quiet. Noah’s conversation still on his mind. It wasn’t that it made him doubt his feelings for Olivia on the contrary, but it did show him the importance of doing right by the both of them. Olivia and Noah were a package deal and he didn’t want to hurt either of them. It meant he had to thread carefully and he needed to make sure that with every decision they took, Noah was part of it too.

Olivia looked up at him when he sat down on the couch. He sat further apart from her then he usually did. It was as if Noah was still seated between them. He’d stayed with Noah longer than she expected. From the looks of it, they’d had quite a conversation. Rafael was clearly lost in thought. She let him be for a moment. She turned towards him, her back now leaning against the arm rest of the couch and her toes almost touching his thigh. After a while he seemed to have made up his mind. He reached for the glass of wine, took a sip and set it back down again. He covered her feet with his hand, but left it at that. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” She asked. Maybe a movie would relax him. 

“Sure. Wanna pick?” 

“Okay. Just don’t start complaining.” Scrolling through the movies she landed on Magic Mike and laughed. 

“No, we’re not watching that.” Rafael said after reading the summary.

“Why not?” 

“You, Amanda and Melinda can watch that during one of your girls nights. Noah can come and sleep over here and and you ladies can ogle all those muscular bodies.” 

“Mmm..” Olivia pretended to think about it. “I like that idea a lot.” After scrolling through some more movies with Rafael commenting on some of them she settled on Chef. It seemed like a easy feel good movie to watch. 

Still unsure what to think of Rafael’s mood, Olivia kept on her side of the couch. It was up to him to initiate any closeness. And so they watched the movie. Sometimes one of them would comment. Olivia got up to refill their glasses at some point, but all in all not much was said. It wasn’t that it was needed. She always liked how comfortable their silences were. And while it wasn’t uncomfortable now, it was clear that the easy closeness they’d shared earlier had somehow and for some reason disappeared. 

Rafael gazed at Olivia. He knew the uncomfortableness between them was his fault. His talk with Noah had left him feeling off-balance. He knew she was the only one who could bring the balance back again. He missed being close to her. The distance between them on the couch was becoming too much for him. He grabbed her feet and pulled her closer, delighted in her surprised laughter. As she got closer he moved his hands to her knees and pulled her legs over his. When she was within reach he wrapped one arm around her shoulder and held her close against his side as the other settled on her knee. He kissed her temple and let out a content sigh. This, having Olivia in his arms, was exactly what he needed, exactly where he wanted to be.

Glad to be in his arms again Olivia put her head on his shoulder and swung her arm over his waist. Just like him, she let out a content sigh. She tried to keep watching movie but she struggled to keep her eyes open. Here in Rafael’s arms where she felt warm and safe she let sleep take over. 

TBC...


	6. One step forward, two steps back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael wants to do the right thing and in doing so he seems to push Olivia away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I want to thank all who read, left comments and kudos. I am really happy you still like this one. This chapter was a bit more of a struggle. I felt like Rafael still had to deal with wat Noah had told him and I think it would give him food for thought. Because of that things between him and Olivia get uncomfortable. I think this is something they have to talk about before moving forward. So this chapter is a bit heavier than the others, but I hope it’s okay.

He stirred and opened his eyes. He blinked a few times. He shifted and it was only then that he noticed the weight on his chest. He looked down and saw a mop of brown hair. Liv. Apparently they had fallen asleep. 

“Liv.” He whispered. 

“Mmm..” She murmured and shifted a bit against his chest. She was warm and comfortable and really didn’t want to move.

“Olivia.” He tried again. “Time to go to bed.

“No.” She mumbled against his chest. She was still not awake. “I’m comfortable here.”

He smiled. “You’ll be more comfortable in a bed.”

“Mmm..” She hummed again. She doubted if he was right. 

He sat up right, jostling Olivia who grudgingly left her warm, pleasant spot against Rafael’s chest. Rafael stood up, turned off the TV and took their wine glasses to the kitchen. When he came back Olivia was still seated on the couch. He had to admit, he liked this look on his, relaxed, sleepy and unguarded. It gave him a glimpse of what she looked like first thing in the morning. He held out his hand to her to pull her up. He grinned at her glare. She did take his hand though and let him pull her up. He led her to the guest bedroom and stopped there. 

“Rafael?” This wasn’t what she expected. She rubbed the sleep out her eyes. “I..” She hesitated. Sure she had put her bag in the room where Noah was sleeping to avoid being too presumptuous, but she’d hoped to sleep in his bed.

“I know.” He whispered. There was nothing more that he wanted than to fall asleep with her in his arms. But there was a boy in the guest bedroom who he didn’t want to confuse. He leaned in and softly brushed her lips with his. “Sweet dreams, Liv.” He whispered. As he stepped away from her, her hand on his arm stopped from walking away.

She was too tired to have this conversation with him, but she also didn’t want him to walk away. It felt as if this was a step back when all they’d done was taken steps forward. She titled her head and observed him. She didn’t really know what she saw in his eyes, but there was something he was holding back from her. She didn’t like that he was hiding from her. This wasn’t the time nor place to talk about it. Both were tired and she didn’t want either of them to say things they would regret. Tomorrow she was going to talk to him. “Okay.” She said more to herself than him. “Good night, Rafael.” She didn’t look at him anymore. 

He watched her close the bedroom door behind her and turned on his feet. He returned to the living room. He locked the front door. In the kitchen he quickly washed and dried their wine glasses. Back in the living room he slumped down on the couch. He was disappointed him himself. The evening spend with Noah and Olivia had been wonderful and all he could ever wish for. When Noah had gone to bed he’d hoped for a romantic evening with Olivia. He’d wanted to tell her how much she meant to him and how much he loved her. Instead he’d closed himself off because Noah had thrown him for a loop. Noah had asked him the one thing he’d wanted more than anything else. To stay with them for as long as they wanted him and he wanted them to ask him to stay forever. 

Rafael was so completely lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed that Olivia had joined him in the living room again. She’d changed into sweatpants and her NYPD shirt. She kept quiet. She leaned against the wall with her shoulder, her arms crossed. When Rafael put his head on the back of the couch and stared up to the ceiling Olivia approached him. She walked up to the back of the couch, put her hands on his shoulders and looked down on him. Despite her intention to let this slide and talk to him tomorrow about it, she’d changed her mind. She needed to talk to him about it. She needed to know what was going on.

They looked at each other in silence. This time neither of them held anything back. His green eyes were full of love, but she saw vulnerability or maybe it was insecurity that she didn’t understand. He caught her off guard with his next words. 

“Olivia...” He said in a rather pained voice. There was so much he wanted to say, to share with her but his words got caught in his throat.

She left her spot behind the couch to move to the other side. Standing in front of him she grabbed his hands and pulled him up. She let go to grab his sweater and pulled him even closer till there was no space left between them. “I want to sleep with you.”

“I..uuh.. Olivia.” He stuttered. The Benson family really had a knack for catching him off guard. “I can’t.” He eventually said. 

She let him go and took a step back. “You can’t?” She raised an eyebrow. “Or you don’t want to?” 

He copied her move by stepping back too. Only he took a few more steps and any closeness between them was gone. “I want to, you know I do.” He sounded anguished.

“I don’t.” Actions spoke louder than words and so far his actions weren’t convincing. She crossed her arms. A defensive gesture that wasn’t lost on either of them.

An uncomfortable silence settled between them. Rafael felt somewhat at a loss. He felt caught between his desire to be close to her and his need to do the right thing. He wanted to talk to her about it, but he didn’t know where to start. He knew he didn’t want to screw this up, it was too important. 

She saw him struggling and knew she had to help him. It’s what they did, they helped each other. If it was the other way round he would do the same. Also it wasn’t her intention to make things uncomfortable between them. She wanted them to move forward and now back. That would only happen if they talked. “Why can’t you?”

“Because I want to do right by you and Noah.” He finally said.  
   
“What does that mean?” She didn’t like it that he had turned his back towards her.  
   
He ran his hand through his hair. He was getting frustrated with himself. Now that he had everything he’d ever wanted within reach he was struggling with that final step.  
   
Suddenly it dawned on her. “Does this have anything to do with your talk with Noah?”  
   
He sat back down on the couch, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. “I…” He started, but stopped again. “Yes.” He admitted.

TBC...


	7. Closing off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Olivia struggle to communicate. They are still at odds. Rafael wants to do the right thing but doesn’t know how to do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t my intention to end previous chapter with a cliffhanger and I didn’t even think it was one. Apparently it was. This chapter was difficult to write because Olivia and Rafael decided they weren’t willing to talk. With the way this chapter ends, Olivia and Rafael are still at odds.

Chapter seven

“What did he say to you?” She sat down on the coffee table. Their knees almost touching. 

Once more he hesitated. “I don’t want to betray his trust.” Noah had confided in him and it was important to him that Noah knew he wouldn’t betray his trust. He wanted Noah to know he could always come to him. Yet his relationship with Olivia was just as important. He didn’t want her to think he didn’t desire her or didn’t want her in his bed. He did. He just couldn’t confuse Noah. 

It was important to her that Noah felt that he could trust Rafael and it was good that he had someone besides her to confide him. What she didn’t like that whatever had been said was holding Rafael back. That was something they had to talk about. “Okay, I understand that.” She tilted her head to the side. “I wouldn’t want you to betray his trust. I just don’t understand where this hesitation is coming from.” She looked down at her feet for a moment. “I thought we were moving forward.”

“We are.” He quickly said. 

“But you’re holding back, closing yourself off.” She waited for him to respond but he didn’t. If he was unwilling to talk then how was this going to work? Or had his talk with Noah made him reconsider. If that was the case than she needed to know. “Let me ask you this, Rafael.” She said and stood up. “So far you’ve gone on trips or spend evening with us, but if we’re really going to do this you’re going to be a permanent fixture in our life. That means dealing with Noah at the end of a busy day when he’s cranky or throws a tantrum. It’s going to parent teacher meetings, taking time off from work because he’s sick. Waking up in the middle of the night because he’s had a nightmare or getting up early because he’s excited about something.” She glanced at him and saw he was watching her closely. “We both have demanding jobs and work a lot. Sometimes when I get home I’m so tired or upset about a case that I want to hide, but I can’t and when I see Noah at home he makes it all worthwhile. It’s not easy but I wouldn’t want to change a thing. I made that choice and I would do it again. I don’t know what you and Noah talked about but if he said something that made you change your mind about us then you need to tell me. I can deal with that. What I won’t deal with is you running away and hurting my son in the process. He doesn’t deserve that.”

“I know and that’s exactly what I’m trying to prevent. I’d never want to hurt Noah.” He looked up at her. “Or you.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “I’m not running away.” 

Olivia threw her hands in the air. This was going nowhere. “Then I don’t know what this is about.” She crossed the living room and made her way to the hall way. “Look Rafael. I’m tired. I need sleep. I am going to sleep in your bed. It’s up to you to decide where you’re going to sleep.” What she didn’t say was if he decided to join her it meant that he would no longer hold himself back and they would truly move forward in their relationship. The family of two would become a family of three. She let herself into Rafael’s bedroom and sighed. This really wasn’t how she’d imagined this, walking in here, sitting on his bed all alone. She quietly slipped beneath the bedsheets. She wondered if he preferred one side of the bed. She didn’t know. She chose the side of the bed furthest away from the door. Lying her head on the pillow she took a deep breath. She smiled, Rafael’s distinct scent filled her nostrils and calmed her down. She hated when they were at odds and hated that they seemed to be unable to really communicate with one another. It surprised her because she always regarded their communication one of their strong suits. She didn’t understand why it had been such a struggle now. She tried to stay awake wanting to know if he would join her. She couldn’t and quickly fell into a rather restless sleep.

Back in the living room Rafael was still on the couch. Being at odds with Olivia left him feeling unbalanced. It was a feeling he truly disliked. Also being at odds with Olivia wasn’t something he particularly liked. He knew this failure to communicate was his fault. He still didn’t know how to explain it to her. What he didn’t want her to think though was that he wasn’t anything but all in. It might have seem like that to her, and he only had himself to blame. What he also wanted was to join her in his bed in his bedroom. He wanted to hold her in arms while he slept. What he also really wanted was to properly kiss her. He longed to kiss her, to feel her body against his and show her how he felt. He realized with Noah close by he would have to restrain himself. Yet he needed her to know not only with words how he felt. He knew what it meant for both of them when he joined her in his bed. He wanted that, wanted her. He knew he was ready to be the man that she deserved and to be the father Noah would be proud of. The road towards that goal, that wasn’t as clear cut as he’d thought and that was throwing him for a loop. 

Finally after quite some amount of time Rafael stood up. He needed to sleep and he was going to do so in his bed with Olivia in his arms. First though he made his way to the guest bedroom. The door was still slightly ajar. He guessed Olivia had left it so in case Noah would need her. He carefully pushed the door a bit further open. He leaned against the doorpost with his hip and shoulder, arms crossed. That little boy and his mother were his future. He would do anything for them, would always try to protect them from any harm and if Noah would have him, he would like to be his father. Maybe it was best if he talked to Noah tomorrow to make it clear what his intentions were. Not only did he deserve that, he was also part of it. Before that he would need to talk to Olivia. Tell her what he was thinking, what he wanted to talk about with Noah. He needed to know if she was okay with that. What it all came down to was that they needed to communicate and though Olivia had tried, he’d shut her out. He’d messed up. That wasn’t going to happen again. He finally stepped into the room and made his way to the bed. He tucked the blankets around Noah again and brushed the boy’s hair from his face. Standing back up he left the room. It was time to sleep in his own bed where Olivia was most likely asleep already. 

TBC...


	8. A good night’s rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael makes a decision. Noah wonders if Rafael had bad dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter. It took longer than expected. I got sidetracked by a Barson Valentine’s Day fic that I need to finish on time. Another problem was Rafael and Olivia lack of communication which meant I needed to bring Noah back in. Every time I want them to kiss but so far no kissing. It’s not a very exciting chapter, but it’s needed to move the story along. I hope you still enjoy it. As always, the reads, comments and kudos are appreciated.

Chapter eight

After a quick visit to the bathroom Rafael carefully opened his bedroom door. If Olivia was asleep, he didn’t want to wake her up. There, with only the outside light coming through the window, he saw her in his bed. She was sleeping on the side he normally slept on. She had the sheets pulled up high over her shoulders. He could only see her brown hair on the pillow. He quickly changed into his pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt. He closed the curtains making the room dark. Carefully, not wanting to wake Olivia, he crawled into bed. Lying on his side he slid as close as he dared. He watched the rhythmic rise and fall of her soft breaths and without thought he reached his hand across the mattress to touch. He stopped himself just in time. But he reconsidered. There was no more holding back. He’d promised himself. So he scooted closer to her. He gently put his arm around her hip, his hand finding a spot on her stomach and got even closer till his chest touched her back. He stilled when she moved, but it seemed she was only getting comfortable. He swore he even heard her mutter his name, but wasn’t sure when he realized she was still sleeping. 

Some time during the night Olivia had turned onto her back with Rafael draped across her side. His arm still slung over her waist, his head buried in her neck and his leg entangled with hers. Something woke her up though she was unsure what it was. She tried to turn, but the body that was draped across hers prevented her from doing so. She was glad he was there with her. It meant that despite his hesitance his decision was clear. He chose her, he chose them. They would talk in the morning. When Rafael stirred she wondered if he was going to wake up. He didn’t. He did turn onto his back and in his sleep, his arms wrapped around her and pulled her with him. She let out a soft sigh of contentment. Sleeping in his arms, snuggled against his chest was as wonderful as she’d imagined. He murmured her name and his arms tightened around her. She smiled and kissed his shirt clad chest. Feeling comfortable and warm in his arms, Olivia fell asleep quickly.

The continuing tugging on the sheet is what woke Rafael up. He groaned softly and turned his head towards the tugging. It was only then that he heard the soft voice.

“Uncle Rafa.” Noah was standing at his bed in his brightly colored pajamas with Eddie held tightly in his hand. 

“Noah?” Rafael turned on his side and reached for his phone to check the time. It was still early and it was a Saturday. He knew Olivia liked to sleep in though she hardly ever got the chance to do so. 

“Where’s mommy?” His voice soft and small.

Apparently Noah hadn’t spotted his mother yet. “She’s right here, amigo.” Rafael whispered. 

Noah stood on his toes and peered over Rafael and spotted his mother. Just as he was about to launch himself onto the bed, Rafael caught him and gently put him on the bed, against his side. He didn’t want to wake Olivia. “Let mommy sleep, okay?” 

Noah nodded as he made himself comfortable next to Rafael. He cuddled into his side resting his head on the man’s chest. “Did you have a bad dream?” Noah whispered.

“No. Did you?” He felt Noah shake his head against his chest. He didn’t know why Noah thought he’d had a bad dream.

“When I have a bad dream mommy let’s me sleep in her bed.” 

That explained Noah’s question. He and Olivia weren’t sharing a bed because he’d had a nightmare. “Your bed was a bit too small to share with your mother.” He hoped that explanation was sufficient. 

“Okay.” Noah muttered. 

“Noah?” The voices had woken her up. She turned over to her side, facing Rafael and Noah. Though with Noah cuddled against Rafael’s side and the sheets covering him, she hardly saw her son. “Everything okay?” She asked softly. 

Upon hearing his mother’s voice, Noah immediately got up on all four and scrambled his way over Rafael towards his mother. When one of his knees pushed into his stomach, Rafael quickly lifted Noah towards his mother. Best to avoid injuries afraid of what else Noah’s knees or feet would hit. 

“Why are you out of bed, sweetheart?” Olivia asked. She pulled her son close against her, wrapping her arm around his small body. 

“Cause you weren’t in bed.” He paused before continuing. “Uncle Rafa said my bed is too small. That’s why you’re here.”

She glanced at Rafael who’d turned on his side towards them. He merely shrugged.   
“That’s true. How about we go back to sleep. It’s still too early to get up.”

“Can I stay here with you and Uncle Rafa?” 

She glanced at Rafael. Surely this wasn’t how either of them thought their first night together would go, but she saw in his eyes he didn’t mind. “Sure.” She watched how he made sure her son was covered with the sheets before he covered her hand with his. 

“Sweet dreams, sweetheart.”

“Good night, mommy. Night uncle Rafa.” Noah murmured.

“Good night amigo.” Rafael whispered. 

A while later Noah once again woke Rafael up. This time not by tugging at the sheets, instead Noah poked his chest with his finger till his Uncle Rafa woke up. 

“Noah?” Rafael whispered roughly while trying to wake up. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not tired anymore. Can we have breakfast?” Noah was up on his knees on the bed. Eddie lay against Rafael chest abandoned by Noah. 

Rafael glanced at his phone to check the time again. They’d managed to get a few more hours of sleep, but it still wasn’t that late. He glanced at Olivia and was glad she was still asleep. How he wanted to wake up I with her in his arms and kiss her awake. He pushed that feeling aside and focused back on Noah. If he took too long Noah would get impatient and he was sure he’d wake up Olivia. “Don’t wake your mother, okay? She deserves to get more sleep. If you stay really quiet, you and I will go an make breakfast. Deal?” 

“Deal.” Noah settled down. He waited for Rafael to get out of bed before following him. He grabbed his uncle’s hand and together they left the bedroom to go to the kitchen. 

TBC....


	9. Breakfast and Disney

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Noah talk. Rafael mentions Disney and Noah’s timing is perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with this chapter. Noah and Rafael needed to talk but I didn’t want it to be too heavy or complicated. This is the result. And Rafael and Olivia still haven’t kissed. Despite the struggle I hope you like this chapter. Just like before I want to thank all of you who read, review and leave kudos. It is highly appreciated.

They’d decided to make pancakes for breakfast. It hadn’t been a difficult choice. Noah had made up his mind and after a quick check of the contents of his refrigerator Rafael knew he had all the ingredients needed to make the pancakes. Besides he liked pancakes as breakfast too, but never gave himself the time to cook any as breakfast. Today, with his two guests, he had the perfect reason to make time. Preparing breakfast with Noah also gave him the opportunity to talk to him. 

“Remember what we talked about yesterday Noah?” Rafael asked as he whisked the batter. He’d lifted Noah onto the kitchen counter and the boy was keeping a close eye on the preparations. 

“I can’t tell you about the picture. I promised.” Noah replied.

Rafael laughed. He really wondered which picture his mother had shown the Bensons. “I know. I meant what you asked me last night when you were about to go to sleep. You asked me to stay. Remember that?” 

Noah nodded. “You don’t want to stay.” 

“That’s not true Noah.” He stopped whisking for a moment. “I wanted to talk a bit more about that. Is that okay?”

Once more Noah nodded. Now that Rafael had stopped whisking he looked up at his uncle. 

“Why do you want me to stay with you and mommy?”

“Because you’re fun. We can play and go to the park.”

“We do that now too.” He needed to know what Noah really meant.  
“But not all the time.”

“If I were to stay with you we wouldn’t be able to do that all the time either. I have to go to work and you have to go to school. When you’re home you need to do your homework.” He wasn’t really sure how to tell him that if they were to become a family it wouldn’t be all fun and play time. 

“I know.” Noah hesitated. “I want you with us always. You make mommy happy and I love you.” 

“I love you too, Noah. That will never change.” Realizing he had to steer the conversation Rafael tried again to see if he’d understood Noah correctly yesterday. “Do you want us to be a family?”

The little boy nodded. He started playing with the hem of his shirt and kept his eyes downcast. 

“Like the other kids in your class?”

Once again Noah nodded. “I want you to be my dad.” He whispered the last bit. 

Rafael ran a hand over his face. He hadn’t quite expected that last admission. He pushed the bowl with the batter to the side and picked Noah up in his arms. He walked towards the kitchen chair and sat down with Noah settled on his lap. When Noah snuggled against his chest, he wrapped his arm around the boy. “It’s not that simple.” He was at a loss how to explain this to him.

“But you do things that daddy’s do.”

Maybe Disney could help him out. “Remember when we watched Finding Dory?” When he felt Noah’s nod against his chest, he continued. “At first Dory didn’t know where her mom and dad were but she had her own family, didn’t she? With Nemo, Marlin, Hank, Destiny and Bailey. Uncle Fin, uncle Sonny and aunt Amanda together with your mom and me, we’re a family. Just like Dory’s family.” 

Noah seemed to think about that for a moment. “Uncle Fin is Hank and uncle Sonny is Bailey and aunt Amanda is Destiny.”

Rafael smiled at that. Comparing Hank with Fin was spot on. “That seems right.” 

“Dory found her mom and dad.” Noah thought for a moment. “Uncle Rafa, you love mommy and mommy loves you. You marry mommy and then you are my dad.”

He couldn’t deny that at least part of that was true. He did love Olivia. He wasn’t quite sure if her feelings for him ran as deep as his for her. Marriage might be in their future, but not any time soon. “It’s just not that simple. It’s something your mom and I need to talk about.” Maybe he should try a different approach. “How about your mom and I try to see if we can spend more time together and...”

“With me?” Noah interrupted him.

“With you and without you. Sometimes we’re going to want to spend some time alone together. Is that okay with you?” He felt Noah nod again. “Let’s see how you like that. If something happens that you don’t like you tell me or your mom. Whatever happens between your mom and me, you can always ask me anything. I’ll always be here for you and I’ll always love you. Don’t forget that.” He wrapped his arms around the boy’s body, hugged him tight against his chest and kissed his head. “Let’s go finish those pancakes and surprise your mom with breakfast in bed.” Rafael suggested after a moment. Noah quickly jumped off Rafael’s lap and agreed with the suggestion. 

Olivia softly padded into the kitchen. She could hear Noah and Rafael talking to each other and didn’t want to disturb them. She’d been slightly disappointed to find the bed empty. She would have liked to have woken up with Rafael next to her. They still had to talk about where they stood. Entering the kitchen she smiled. Noah was on the counter keeping a close eye on Rafael who was busy making pancakes. Both were still in their night clothes as was she. She hadn’t heard what Rafael had said but it had Noah laughing out loud. This was how she wanted every morning to be. 

“Good morning, boys.” She greeted them, alerting them to her presence. Both heads turned to her with a big smile on their faces. 

“Morning Mommy. We made pancakes.” 

“I guess we need to stay with uncle Rafa more often, huh if we get a breakfast like this.” 

“Yes.” Noah agreed.

Rafael plated the last pancake on the plate and put the pan away. He lifted Noah off the counter so he could give his mother a hug. He watched mother and son talk softly to each other. He gave them a moment and tidied his kitchen for a bit. Turning back to the the two he saw Olivia and Noah seated at the table clearly waiting for the pancakes. He grabbed the plates and cutlery and quickly sat them down. Breakfast was pleasant and filled with laughter. 

“What shall we do today?” Olivia asked her two men. With Rafael having prepared breakfast she’d taken it upon herself to clean up. 

“Visit abuelita.” Noah said. “And then the park.”

“What do you mean, amigo?” Rafael asked. The altar was in his living room. That really wasn’t a visit. 

“In Coco the families go to the grave and visit. We have to visit.” Noah said rather matter of factly. 

Olivia glanced at Rafael. She wasn’t really sure if he would be up for that and if he would be willing to share that with them. “Noah, why don’t you go and get dressed?” She suggested. It would give her a moment with Rafael. She waited for her son to leave the kitchen before she addressed Rafael. 

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” 

Rafael stood up from his seat at the table and joined Olivia at the counter. “I know. It’s okay though.” 

“You sure?” She glanced over her shoulder at him. 

He nodded. It was then that he realized he and Olivia were alone. “You sleep okay?”

“I did, though I woke up rather lonely.”

“Mmm..” He smiled. “Someone else needed my attention and you deserved to get some more sleep.” He moved a bit closer, lifted his hand and pushed the hair that had fallen across her face behind her ear. He gently cupped her jaw, his thumb caressing her cheekbone. He leaned to kiss her, a moment he’d been waiting and wanting for quite a while. 

“Mommy.” A voice called out.

Startled Olivia and Rafael separated. Both chuckled. Noah sure had quite the timing. “Go.” Rafael whispered. He watched her walk away and sighed. He hoped he’d have the chance to kiss her sometime time today. 

TBC...


	10. A visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael, Olivia and Noah visit the grave and Rafael shares a few words with his grandmother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the reads, kudos and reviews and thank you for hanging in there. I still don’t know where this story is going or where Rafael, Olivia and Noah are taking it. I’m just going with the flow. I hope this chapter doesn’t disappoint despite there not being any big moments.

Reaching the graveyard, Noah immediately reached for his uncle’s hand. In his other hand Rafael had a bouquet of flowers. He looked over his shoulder to see if Olivia was still with him. He didn’t go to his grandmother’s grave often. It depended on how he felt and what his day had been like. Quietly they made their way to the grave. It was on the other side of the field. Olivia kept a few steps behind, leaving it up to Rafael to decide the pace so to speak. She could see by the way he held himself he was tense. She was glad Noah seemed to sense his mood and was quiet. A few minutes later they reached the grave. Rafael let Noah’s hand go and crouched down. He traced the letters on the headstone and took a deep breath. Noah looked from Rafael to Olivia and quickly joined his mother. Olivia took the candle Noah had chosen from her bag and handed it to him. She nodded at him when he looked at her. Hesitantly he joined his uncle Rafa again. 

Rafael turned towards Noah and noticed the candle in his hand.”Do you want to light it?”  
On their way to the graveyard Noah had told him they needed to make sure that his abuelita would be able to find her way. Therefor they’d brought a candle, the light would help guide her and Rafael had bought white lily flowers to let het know she was welcome. Noah’s enthusiasm for the ritual had drawn him in to and he was happy to share it with both Bensons. Not only that, it helped him mourn her loss in a way he hadn’t been able to before. Maybe it was because he was finally able to really share it with someone. He helped Noah light the candle before setting the candle down. 

“She’ll find you now, Uncle Rafa.” Noah said with complete confidence. 

“I think so too.” He briefly hugged him against his side. 

Seeing Rafael’s hesitance, Olivia knew it was time to give him a moment. “How about we go back to the car, Noah?” Noah agreed easily and grabbed his mother’s hand. Together they made their way back to the entrance. 

“I wish you could have known them, abuelita.” Rafael said when he was alone. “You would have loved them. Noah’s the best. I never saw myself as a father, never felt I would be capable of being a parent. My doubts are still there, but I’m not afraid anymore. In his own way he helps me work through them. And Olivia..” Rafael drifted off for a moment, lost in his thoughts about Olivia. “.. I love her. It’s an all encompassing love that scares me. I’m afraid she doesn’t need me as much as I need her. I want it all with her. I’m not sure I know how to be a family. I guess it’ll be a learning curve but with her by my side, if she’ll have me, I know we’ll be okay.” He stood back up on his feet. He bowed his head and kept silent for a moment. “Come visit.” He whispered before saying his goodbye. 

Almost back at the car Rafael spotted Olivia leaning against the passenger car door. He guessed Noah was probably already in the car. 

“You okay?” She asked him when he walked up to her. 

He nodded. He glanced at Noah who was indeed in the back seat. 

“You’d tell me if you weren’t?” She knew him well enough that when it came to matters of the heart that left him feeling vulnerable and exposed he liked hide. His silence said enough. “You don’t have to come with us to the park.” She gave him an out, understanding he might need some time alone.

He ran his hand through his hair. He looked away from Olivia. He did need a moment, but he also wanted to spend time with them. Plus he didn’t want to disappoint Noah. He looked back at Olivia when she took her hand in his. In her beautiful brown eyes he saw understanding. She pulled on his hand to get him to step a bit closer and he did. 

“Go home, Rafael.” 

“But I...”

She silenced him by briefly putting her finger on his lips. “Give yourself a moment okay. I know you’re more affected than you’re willing to admit.” She rolled her eyes at him when he tried to protest. “Join us later in the park. It’ll give you the time you clearly need.” 

She was right of course and he reluctantly agreed with her. “I thought we were spending the weekend together.” 

She smiled. His slight pouting making him sound like Noah. “We are. That doesn’t mean we have to spend every minute together.”

“I like spending every minute together.” He admitted softly. 

She tapped his chest. “Me too.” Before she could say anything else, there was a knock on the window. Noah was apparently getting a bit impatient. “Let me drop you off at your place.” 

He nodded his agreement and stepped back to give her the space to walk to the other side of the car. Before he stepped in she had one more thing to say.

“Ooh and how about you bring a bag with an extra set of clothes with you so you can properly spend the weekend with us? It’d be a shame if you had to go home tonight.”

He looked at her over the top of the car and smiled. “Good idea.” 

“You’re not coming with us to the park?” Noah asked when they stopped again at Rafael’s building. 

“I’m going to join you a bit later, okay?”

“I guess.” The disappointment in his voice clear. 

He hated disappointing Noah especially after what he’d done for him. He didn’t know what to say or do to make that disappointment go away.

“Noah, uncle Rafa will be back later.” Olivia helped out. “I promise he’ll make a sand castle with you later.”

Hopeful eyes focused on Rafael. “You will?”

“I will.”

“Are you good at making sandcastles?”

“The sooner you let Uncle Rafa leave, the sooner you’ll find out.” Once again Olivia helped Rafael out. She smiled at the doubt she saw in his eyes. He was adorable when he was a bit unsure of himself. She doubted he would agree with that assessment. 

“See you guys later.” Rafael grabbed the door handle and hesitated. He wanted to lean over and kiss Olivia. He doubted that was a good idea. He knew the kiss in itself wouldn’t be unwelcome. He didn’t know how she would react with Noah’s watchful eyes on them. He yearned to have some time alone with her. Not only did he need to talk to her, he needed her closeness. He didn’t quite understand it but he felt off kilter. Maybe it was because he felt vulnerable. 

“Rafael?” Olivia briefly touched his arm. 

He cleared his throat. “Yeah. I’ll..., I’ll see you two later.” Without another glance at her he quickly exited the car and made his way to his apartment.

TBC...


	11. Eddie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia talks to another man in the park. Noah’s on the swings and Eddie bumps into Rafael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always liked Eddie and wanted to see more of him. So I decided to bring him in. I hope you like it. Thanks for the reads, kudos and comments.

Chapter eleven

It was a bit later than intended when he finally met up with Olivia and Noah in the park. She’d send him a text telling him they were at the swing sets. The area was quite big and there were several swings but he finally spotted them. Noah was on the swing, busy talking to a boy on the set next to him. It took him a moment longer to find Olivia. It was her familiar laughter he heard first before his eyes settled on her. There was a man standing close to her. The man, tall with dark curly hair and wearing a leather jacket had his hand on her arm. Clearly she hadn’t spotted him yet and it gave him a bit more time to observe. She was still laughing at whatever the man had said to her. He briefly wondered if he’d ever made her laugh like that. It was obvious she knew the man. Her body language open and calm. He wondered if he should join them, but he also didn’t want to disturb them. Still he longed to go over there, wrap his arm around her waist, pull her body against his and kiss her softly. He wanted to let people know that she chose to be with him, to have him by her side. Instead he decided to check on Noah. 

“Uncle Rafa.” Noah welcome him with a loud cheer and wave. “You’re back.”

He couldn’t help but smile at the boy’s exuberance. It did something to him that that boy could be so happy to see him. “I am. You having a good time at the park?”

Noah nodded. “This is Clark.” He introduced him to his friend. “He’s my best friend.” He turned then to his friend. “This is my uncle Rafa. We’re going to built a sandcastle, right?” He looked hopefully at him.

“We will.”

“Can I play some more with Clark first?” 

“Of course. You two have fun, but be careful. I’ll be right here if you need me.” He watched the boys leave the swing sets and make their way to the monkey bars. He took a seat on one of the benches close to the monkey bars to keep an eye on the two boys. 

A while later a familiar voice called out his name. He turned around and spotted Eddie. 

“Rafi?” Eddie walked up to the bench. He was surprised to find his friend at the playground at the park. 

“Eddie.” He smiled at his friend. Standing up he greeted him with a brief hug before sitting back down again. 

“What are you doing here?” Eddie sat down next to him. “You know how it looks when there’s a man without a kid at the playground looking at kids.” He teased.

Before he could answer there was another voice calling his name. 

“Uncle Rafa.”

“Uncle Rafa?” Eddie once again was surprised.

Rafael pointed towards the swings. “Yes Noah.” 

“Look how high we’re going.” 

He smiled at him and nodded his agreement. “Just be careful, okay.”

“What are you doing here?” Rafael asked, glancing at his friend. 

“I was at Nick’s baseball game. It just finished. I’m on my way back home.” 

The two men fell silent. Rafael knew Eddie was surprised not only about his presence here but more so that he was here with Noah. Eddie never did push. It was one of the things he liked most in his friend. It was also why Eddie was one of the few people he felt most comfortable with. Besides Eddie knew him, knew his history which meant he rarely ever had to explain himself. He cherished their friendship. 

“How’s Nick?” 

Eddie smiled. “He’s good.” He watched his friend wave at the little kid. He nodded at the kid. “Spending your weekend with Noah at the park.” He looked around. “And where’s Olivia?” He knew all too well who Noah was and was well aware who Olivia was. Or better said what Olivia meant to his friend. 

Rafael pointed in the direction where Olivia was still talking with that same man. 

“Does she know you’re here?” 

“No.” 

Eddie looked at his friend. The no seemed more biting than it should have. “Are you mad at her?” 

“No.” 

“Then why the tone?” 

“What tone?” He knew it was useless to deny it but tried anyway.

“Rafael.” Eddie called him out, making it clear that wasn’t working on him. 

“She’s obviously busy.” He couldn’t stop himself from watching her. The man was still standing too close to her in his opinion. He saw the man touching her arm again.

“Too busy to notice you, you mean?” 

He shrugged as if it meant nothing. “We’re supposed to spend the weekend together.” He knew he sounded childish. He tore his eyes away from Olivia. 

“Have you finally told her how you feel?”

“More or less.” They still hadn’t talked, but he didn’t doubt they both wanted the same thing.

He glanced at his friend again and saw he was still looking at Olivia. “You know you have to be all in, right? There can’t be any doubt, not with that little boy involved.”

“I know. I have have no doubt, despite..” He knew he didn’t need to finish that sentence. Eddie would know what he meant.

“You’re not him. Don’t ever think that and don’t ever let that hold you back.” Before he could say anything more the topic of their conversation walked up to them.  
Both men stood up when Olivia joined them. “Hey.” She greeted Rafael warmly. 

“Hi.” He said just as warmly. For a moment they just stared at each other. Both forgetting there was a third person present. Eddie eventually cleared his throat, shaking them from their moment. 

“Olivia, you remember Eddie.” Rafael finally introduced his friend. 

She remembered Eddie, knew he was Rafael’s friend. The first time they’d met had been in far from ideal circumstances. “Good to meet you.” Olivia shook his hand.

“Same here. Rafael talks a lot about you.” 

She grinned. “Does he, really?” 

“Eddie’s exaggerating.” 

“I’m not.”

It was then that Noah ran up to them. “Can you come built a sandcastle now?” He tugged at Rafael’s sleeve.

“What about Clark?” He looked around for the boy. 

“His dad said they had to go.”

“I didn’t bring anything.” It only just dawned on him.

“We did.” Olivia smiled and held up the bag. There were two buckets and a small shovel. She handled them to Rafael. 

“Come on.” Noah impatiently tugged on Rafael’s hand when he didn’t move.

Rafael glanced from Olivia to Eddie and back to Olivia again. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to leave her alone with Eddie. 

“Go.” Olivia smiled. “It’ll give us the chance to talk about you.”

He glared briefly at both of them. “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”

“Uncle Rafa.” Noah practically whined. It was all taking too long. 

Olivia and Eddie watched Noah drag Rafael with him and both laughed as Rafael glared at them again. They sat back down on the bench and watched. 

“Uncle Rafa, huh.” Eddie was the one to break the silence. 

“Yeah.” Olivia said fondly. 

“They seem to be quite taken with each other.” 

She nodded her agreement. “Noah adores him.”  


“And you?” Just like he’d told Rafael that he needed to be all in, he needed to know where Olivia stood. Rafael was his friend and he would always have his back. 

“Me too.” She admitted softly. 

“Good.” He hesitated about continuing but did. “Growing up he often got himself in trouble. He never could back down from a fight and he never wanted to show any weakness. He couldn’t, not at home, not in our neighborhood.”

“It’s what makes him a great lawyer.” Olivia added.

“It does.” He watched her watch them. “He learned to fend for himself the hard way.”

Olivia fell silent. She wasn’t sure how to respond or why Eddie was telling her this. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” He wasn’t really sure why he was telling her this. He guessed it was his way of telling her not to give up on Rafael. “He’s not as tough as he seems. He’s a good guy, but he doesn’t always make it easy for the people closest to him. He tends to push them away to protect himself.” He glanced back to his friend. “Just don’t give up on him.” 

“I won’t.”

Eddie nodded. He clearly heard the determination in her voice. He stood up. “I need to get back home. Enjoy your weekend together.”

TBC


	12. An old acquaintance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael bumps into an old acquaintance in the park and it makes Olivia feel uncomfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of a struggle. I wanted to have someone else from Rafael’s past show up, just to stir it up a bit. I hope that’s okay. A bit of jealousy is never a bad thing.

Chapter twelve

Olivia smiled when she saw her two men approaching her. She smiled not only because of the image they presented, but also because she liked that she could finally call them her men. Maybe not out loud yet, but she could now say it to herself and not have it be a dream. It settled a unrest within her.

“How did it go?” 

“Uncle Rafa’s not really good.” Noah leaned against his mother. “He says the sand at the beach is better.” He glanced at the man. “He’s going to take us there.” Noah bounced on his feet in excitement. “Can we go mom?”

Olivia looked at Rafael who merely shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “I’ll think about it, okay.” She’d expected some words of protest but none came. “How about we go home?”  
She expected Noah would soon be tired after the time spend in the park. He’d been running around with Clark before Rafael had joined them. The fact that he merely nodded and grabbed her hand said enough. She glanced over at Rafael who nodded too. 

They walked in silence through the park on their way to their cars. Rafael wanted to know what Eddie and Olivia had talked about. He and Olivia had been close friends for a while know and growing closer too, but there was still so much she didn’t know. He hoped Eddie hadn’t said too much. He wanted to keep the ugliness of his past away from her, protect it from her even. He knew Eddie would keep his secrets, but a part of him knew his friend might say too much. 

Olivia glanced over her shoulder. Rafael was a few steps behind them. He appeared to be lost in thought, his hands were in his jacket pockets, his shoulders hunched and head bowed. “You okay over there?” She missed the closeness that had grown between them. Here at the park they’d mostly been apart and she just wanted to have him by her side. 

Her voice startled him and he looked up. Apparently he had fallen behind and Noah and Olivia were waiting for him. He shook his head to clear his mind. “Yes, I’m okay.” He quickly walked up to them.

“You sure?” She asked again when he was at their side.

“Can I have a piggyback ride, uncle Rafa?” Noah looked up at Rafael expectantly.

“Noah, you can walk to the car yourself.”

“It’s okay, Liv.” Rafael crouched down and let Noah climbed on his back. “Hang on tight, amigo.” Now with Noah on his back the three of them continued their way to the cars.   
“Someone’s tired.” Rafael said when he felt Noah put his head against his. 

Olivia smiled fondly at her son who was so trusting towards Rafael and it warmed her heart how easily the two bonded. 

“Rafa?” He heard a vaguely familiar voice call him name. He looked around and saw a woman with two children at her side approach him. In the few minutes it took them to get to him he set Noah back on the ground and asked him to join Olivia. It was when the woman got closer that he finally recognized her.

“Lauren?” It had been so many years since he’d last seen her. 

Lauren threw her arms around Rafael and held him close. “It’s been too long.” She practically whispered before reluctantly stepping back from their embrace. “How have you been?” She kept her hand on his bicep to keep him close.

“I’m good. What about you?”

“Good.” She shook her head. “How long has it been?”

“Too long.” He looked at the two boys who were waiting rather impatiently. “These two yours?” 

“Yes.” She turned towards her sons. “Andrew and Mark.” She paused for a brief moment. She’d seen him with a little boy on his back. “How about you? Where’s your son?” 

He looked over at Olivia and Noah. “No, he’s... he’s not my son.” 

“You’re not married?” Lauren glanced at the woman and boy Rafael had looked at. She was tying one of the boy’s shoes. 

He shook his head. “What about you?”   
Olivia watched the entire encounter from a short distance and with quite what surprise. The name Lauren rang a bell but she couldn’t connect the dots yet. The petit woman had long dark curly hair and looked rather sophisticated. She was wearing a blue knee length skirt, high heels and a classy blue pea coat. She felt uncomfortable though. The familiarity between Rafael and Lauren was obvious as was the fact that they had a history. It was probably best to give them a chance to catch up. Not to mention she needed some time to think about how easily he’d said that Noah wasn’t his son. It was probably unfair to get upset about it. Noah indeed wasn’t his son but she would have liked if he hadn’t answered so easily. He could have answered it was complicated because that was what it was. She knew what she felt was unreasonable, but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel it. Feeling like a third wheel Olivia decided it was time to go. 

“Rafael, we’re going to head back home.” Olivia interrupted the two.

“Olivia?” Her somewhat dismissive tone confused him. Not only that, weren’t they supposed to go home together? He was going to join them. 

She waved whatever he was going to say off. “Noah’s tired. Have fun catching up.” She nodded at Lauren, took one look at Rafael and left.

“What about Uncle Rafa?” He could hear Noah ask, but he couldn’t hear Olivia’s answer. He watched them walk away from him and didn’t understand what had just happened. 

“You okay?” Lauren squeezed his arm to get his attention. 

“Yes.” 

“How about we get a drink and catch up?” 

“Sure.” 

“Great. There’s a great little cafe just a few minutes from here. The boys can play around while we have our drink.”

“No, no.” He shook his head. “I can’t right now. I need to go home.”

“You have someone waiting for you at home?” 

“Yes, Olivia and Noah.” He looked at the direction they’d gone. 

She’d heard what the boy had said. “You’re his uncle?”

“More or less. Olivia’s my colleague and her son calls me uncle.” He explained. “I need to go back to them. I promised we were going to spend time together.” 

“That sounds nice.” She grabbed her phone from her purse. “What’s your number? Then I’ll call and we’ll set up a date.”

TBC...


	13. A bit of a talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Rafael try to talk, but there are misunderstandings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here’s the next chapter. I hope you’re still willing to hang in there. Olivia and Rafael are finally trying to talk but they are both so bad at it. Small steps though right? I hope you like this chapter. Once again to all those reading, giving kudos and reviewing, thank you so much. I’m still very happy I discovered this ship. I love these two characters. I especially love Barba.

Chapter thirteen

With his bag in his hand he waited for Olivia to open the door. He didn’t know what to expect. Her sudden departure which left him alone in the park confused him. Finally the door opened. He expected just Olivia but Noah was there too and he immediately pulled him inside. He suspected she had done so on purpose. He watched Olivia go into the kitchen while Noah asked for his attention. After he finally got Noah settled he could join Olivia in the kitchen.

Rafael walked into the kitchen expecting to find Olivia, but she wasn’t there. He was sure she wasn’t in the living room. If she was in her bedroom he wasn’t just going to barge in there. He returned back to the living room and joined Noah who was sitting on the floor playing with his legos. Noah quickly enlisted his help. A short while later Olivia joined them again. With a book in hand she sat down on the couch and started on her book. He looked up at her from his spot on the floor wanting to catch her eyes, but she seemed engrossed in her book. He wanted to talk to her but with Noah present it wasn’t the right time. Since they’d gone their separate ways earlier that morning he’d missed their closeness. The longing within him to feel her close was strong. At the park she’d been talking to that man and after that he’d been busy with Noah and she’d been talking to Eddie. On their way back Lauren’s sudden appearance and Olivia’s subsequent sudden departure he felt like there was a distance between them. It made him feel uncomfortable.

“Mom, can we make pizza now?” Noah asked looking up from his legos. On Saturday night they always made pizza together. 

“Of course.”

“Uncle Rafa, are you going to make a pizza too?”

He supposed he was. “Do you make the dough too?”

Noah shook his head. “No.” He looked at his mother. “Mommy tried once but it wasn’t good.” 

“Well then I’ll just have to teach you and your mom some time how to make proper dough.”

“You can make dough?” Noah looked at him, his eyes wide as if he’d just discovered his uncle Rafa had super powers. 

“Yes.”

“Cool.”

Rafael watched Olivia go to the kitchen and realized this was his chance. “How about I’ll help your mom for a bit and we’ll call you when we’re ready.”

“Okay.” Noah gave his legos his undivided attention again. 

Rafael watched Olivia. He didn’t want to beat around the bush. They needed to talk. He quietly walked up next to her.

“You okay?” Rafael asked. He watched Olivia take the ingredients needed for the pizza from the fridge.  
   
“Yeah.” She tried for nonchalance but doubted she could pull it off. Even she could hear the strain in her voice.  
   
“Liv.” He knew it was all he needed to say to let her know he didn’t believe her. “You left the park rather suddenly.”  
   
“It was nothing.” She shrugged, once again trying to appear that he was making too much of it. “Noah was tired.” Maybe using her son as an excuse would help her.  
   
“Something upset you.” He wasn’t buying the Noah excuse.  
   
“I’m not upset.” She wasn’t really sure why she kept trying to convince him. When it stayed silent she knew she had to say more. “I didn’t want to disturb you.” She admitted. By now she had everything they needed for the pizza’s on her counter. She could either start with preparing what they needed or turn towards Rafael and have a real conversation. It was as if he sensed what she was about to do because he came to stand next to her, his hip propped against the counter. He gently took her elbow in his hand turned her towards him before letting go again. He just looked at her for a moment. His green eyes, in which she could easily get lost, were warm yet hesitant.  
   
“You wouldn’t have disturbed.” He tried to hold her eyes, but she quickly averted them.  
   
“Three is a crowd, Rafael.” Her voice was soft.  
   
“When it concerns you, never.”  
   
She was still curious who the woman was. Though the name sounded familiar, she didn’t know what her connection to Rafael was. “Who was she?”  
   
“Lauren?” He smiled. “I don’t know if you remember that I told you. She was the girl I would have looked the other way for if she had murdered my family.”  
   
“I remember.” It was a couple of years ago. Back when her friendship with Rafael had just started. They had only just gotten a bit closer. The fact that he’d shared that with her had been a surprise, yet it had been one of the first signs that he was letting her in. Thinking back on it from the two of them he had probably been the less guarded one. He had been more forthcoming with bits from his personal life than she had been. Though neither one of them had truly been that open to each other. She guessed that had changed ever since Noah had become part of her life. He was one of the few people she shared that part of her life with. She wondered if the roles were reversed now and he was the more closed off one. She wasn’t sure. It wasn’t easy for either of them to open up. “She seemed excited to meet up with you.”  
   
“Yeah she wanted to get a drink.” He told her about the invitation.  
   
“Why didn’t you?”  
   
“Because we agreed to spend the weekend together.”  
   
“I don’t want you to feel obligated to be here.” She whispered. She wanted him with her, but only if he wanted to be there. If he preferred to be somewhere else or with someone else she certainly wasn’t going to stand in his way.  
   
Rafael shifted on his feet. He didn’t like what she was saying. How could she think he’d rather be somewhere else, that he would feel obligated? Had they not established where they stood? Were they not on the same page? Clearly they weren’t. Before he could say anything, Olivia had a question.  
   
“Did you bump into Eddie on your way to us in the park?”  
   
Surprised by her change of topic it took him a moment to answer. “No, I was already in the park.”  
   
“You were? And you just waited on the bench?” She saw him nod. “Why didn’t you join us?”  
   
“”Noah was playing with Clark and you seemed busy.”  
   
“Busy?” What was he talking about?  
   
He really didn’t want to go there, but knew he had too. Besides he had just done the same to her. “You were in deep conversation.”

She still didn’t know what he was talking about. She usually talked to the parents of Noah’s friends. Some she knew better than others. Then it dawned on her. “You mean Greg, Clark’s father?” 

“I don’t know who he was. You just seemed very..., friendly.”

“Friendly?” Olivia questioned. She sighed. They were really bad at this. She hadn’t liked seeing Lauren and Rafael together, and now it turned out that he didn’t like seeing her with Greg. “Why are we doing this?” She ran a hand through her hair. 

“Doing what?” He took a step back from her, unsure of where she was going with this, but it didn’t feel right to him.

“Getting upset with each other about nothing.” She explained. “Rafael, I don’t want to do this.” 

He took another few steps back. Distancing himself, bracing himself from the blow he expected. Maybe he wanted too much too soon and she wasn’t ready. Maybe he had to put some distance between them and give her some space. “Right.” He said and turned away. “I’ll....” He pointed towards the door. “I’ll just grab my things and go.”

Her surprise slowed her reaction, but she got to him right before he left her kitchen. She grabbed his wrist and stopped him. “Slow down, Rafael.”

“You don’t have to do this, Liv.” His voice was soft.

“Why are we so bad at this?” She put the question out there. Why was it that they trusted each other implicitly, that they at times seemed to be able to read each other’s mind not needing any words, but when it came to communicating about their feelings, about what they were doing words seemed to fail them?

TBC...


	14. Cards on the table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Olivia finally talk and Noah once again has impeccable timing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a while, but finally Olivia and Rafael have the chance to really talk about their feelings. I hope their conversation doesn’t disappoint. Thanks to all who keep hanging in there.

“Up until the park we were having a great time.” She hoped he would turn around, but he didn’t. “Or at least I thought we were.” 

“We were.”

“Then how did we get in this mess?” It was time to really put her cards on the table. This felt like a pivotal moment. “Why are we so bad at communicating with each other when at work we hardly need to say a word.”

“Because there’s so much more at stake here.” He whispered.

“It can’t be like this.” She took a step towards him. “The time we’ve spend together, the way we’ve spend this weekend together is what I’ve wanted for so long, but didn’t dare to dream of. And now it’s within reach, you are within reach, but it seems like I just can’t get to you. You made a decision when you got into bed with me yesterday. You knew what it meant.”

“I do, Liv. I know.” 

She remembered Eddie’s words about Rafael. He had a tendency to push those closest to him away to protect himself. “You’re my best friend. I know what’s at risk here.” She took a deep breath. “Letting people in isn’t easy for me either. This job, my past, previous disappointments, I closed a part of myself off. You’re the only one I open up to and it scares me. Especially when we can’t seem to communicate. But I’m not giving up unless you tell me to.” She wondered if her words were getting through to him. “It’s your decision to make.”

He shuddered at her words. Having her trust, being the one she opened up to was something he didn’t take lightly. He finally turned around surprised she was so close to him. Throwing caution in the wind, better said, his hesitance he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “I’m sorry.” He whispered against her hair. 

“It’s okay.” She murmured at his chest. “Just talk to me.” She held onto him tightly, glad to be close to him again. She breathed in his familiar and reassuring scent. She rubbed his back softly and felt his muscles relaxing. 

“I want this.” He started. “And the strength of that feeling still catches me off guard.” He held her close against his chest, felt her soft breath against his neck. “I want to do this right. This isn’t just about me. It’s about you and Noah and I need to do this right.”

There he was again talking about doing this right. He still hadn’t talked to her about his talk with Noah. With her head turned towards his neck, she rubbed her cheek against his shoulder and brushed her lips ever so lightly against his neck. She stayed silent, giving him some time to gather his thoughts and see if he was willing to share them.

“When I saw you with Clark’s father, laughing at him, totally relaxed and enjoying yourself I wanted to go up there and join you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

He pulled away from her then, missing her warmth immediately. “Because I didn’t know if you wanted me too. Because I felt unsure of where I stood. I started to wonder if you ever were that relaxed and carefree around me.” 

“Of course.” Her voice was strong to ensure he knew he had no reason to doubt. It also wasn’t the time to ask him about his doubts. “I’ll always want you there at my side.”

He wasn’t sure of his next words. Not only did he feel like she deserved his honesty, he knew he wanted to. She was the only one he dared to open up to. He just had to push through and trust Olivia. “I wanted to wrap my arm around your waist, pull you against me and kiss you. I wanted him to know that you chose me and that you were mine.” He winced at his words, feeling ashamed of them. It sounded wrong, as if he saw her as possession which he really didn’t. It was just this part of him, deep down, that felt like that. He couldn’t quite explain where the urge came from. “I know how that sounds, I know how wrong it sounds.” He ran his hand over his face. “I just can’t help it. I wouldn’t ever see you as a possession. It’s not like that. I just...” He didn’t know how to explain it.

“I don’t mind you saying that, Rafael.” She smiled at his discomfort over his own words afraid he had overstepped with her. There was no need for that. She felt it too. “I like the idea of being yours.” She felt the same when he’d been talking to Lauren. “When you were talking to Lauren, I felt jealous. You seemed so happy to see her and Lauren she looked so sophisticated, so beautiful.” She looked away. “More your equal than I could ever be.” 

“How can you say that?” Her words surprised him. How could she even think that? “Liv.” He started, but she stopped him by holding her hand up. 

“Your world is so very different from mine. I’ve seen you easily mingle with political hotshots. You have your friends with yachts. You deserve someone at your side who doesn’t hold you back, maybe someone like Lauren. I’m not sure I have a place in your world, but I know I want one.”

“Liv.” He took her hands in his. “I don’t want to mingle with politicians, I don’t care about those yacht owners. They aren’t my friends. I don’t care about them or Lauren for that matter. There’s no one else I would want at my side though I doubt I really deserve you.”

Olivia looked at their hands before looking into his green eyes. “I need you to be sure, because I don’t know how to walk away.”

“I don’t want you to walk away.” He said just as softly. 

“So...” She held his eyes. “No more hiding?”

His eyes stayed on her, knowing what it meant if he’d averted them. “No more hiding.”

“And we’re in this together?” 

He nodded. “Together.”

She smiled, her smile bright and beaming. They were finally on the same page. They were going to do this. For the first time since the park, or maybe even longer, the restlessness within her was gone. She squeezed his hands and when he pulled at them to get her closer, she easily and willingly went into his arms. She loved how warm and loved she felt in the safety of his arms. They stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s arms and Rafael swayed them softly. He wanted to kiss her, he yearned to kiss her. He pulled back a bit and cupped her face in his hands. He glanced at her lips before looking at her again, needing to know this was what she wanted. Seeing no objection in her eyes he leaned.

“Uncle Rafa. Mommy. Can we make the pizza’s now? I’m hungry.” Noah practically yelled from the living room. 

Rafael groaned, put his forehead against her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her again. “I love him, but he has terrible timing.” 

Olivia giggled. It wasn’t the first time Noah had interrupted a moment. It was something they were going to have to get used to. That was what life was like with a child. “Patience, Rafael.” She whispered in his ear.

He shivered and bit back a soft groan. She was teasing him on purpose. He retaliated by tickling her sides and her squirming body against his was pleasant to say the least. 

“Come help me, Noah.” Olivia asked her son when she spotted him. “Tickle uncle Rafa.”

Always willing to help his mother, Noah ran up to his uncle Rafa who immediately let his mother go. “Thank you sweetheart.” Olivia ran her head over her son’s hair. “Let’s start with our pizza’s.”

TBC...


	15. Fort building

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Noah built a fort and talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not so much Olivia and Rafael this chapter. This is Rafael and Noah having a moment. I hope that’s okay and I hope you like it. As always thank you to those who’s read, review and give kudos.

With the pizzas they’d made devoured, Olivia, Rafael and Noah were back in the living room. Noah was back playing with his legos and Rafael was on the floor next to him. Seemingly out of nowhere Noah had an important question. 

“Where are you staying Uncle Rafa?” 

Looking up from the legos he looked at the little boy. “What do you mean?”

“You can sleep in my room.” An idea dawned on him. “We can built a fort!” Noah jumped to his feet. “Can we mom?” He looked over at his mother.

Olivia looked at the time. It was still early enough. Besides he was so excited she didn’t want to deny him. “Sure. But you have to promise that tomorrow morning you won’t wake us up too early okay? You stay in your room and play with your toys if you’re up.” 

“Okay.” Noah nodded. He grabbed his uncle’s hand. “Come uncle Rafa, let’s built a fort.” 

After one glance at Olivia Rafael let Noah lead him to his bedroom. A good while later the fort was ready. Noah had gotten several pillows from the couch in the living room and sheets his mother had given him. They’d turned the lights off and the light of the flashlight Rafael had found was the only light they had. There were pillows covering the floor of the fort and the boxes he’d found were packed high enough to give them enough head room. Lying on their backs, Noah and Rafael looked at the roof of their fort. 

“Next time, we buy some glow in the dark stars to put on the roof so we can look at the stars.”

“Yeah.” Noah was silent for a moment. “Uncle Rafa?” 

“Yes, Noah.”

“You’re the best.” 

“Thank you.” Noah’s words touched him deeply. 

“Uncle Rafa?” Noah said once more. 

“Yes Noah?”

“I really like it when you spend time with me.” The boy admitted softly, glancing at the man next to him.

“I really like spending time with you too Noah.”

They spend a few moments in silence before Noah had another question to ask. “Uncle Rafa?” He started, just like before.

“Yes Noah?” Rafael answered similarly. He noticed Noah was holding on to Eddie tightly. Clearly this next question was important. He turned onto his side, giving the boy his full attention.

“Will you play catch with me?”

The question surprised him though he wasn’t sure what he had expected. “Is that something you like to do?”

“I don’t know.” Noah shrugged. “I’ve never done it.” 

“Why is that?” 

“Clark always plays catch with his dad.” Noah’s voice had a slight tremble.

“Mijo.” Rafael whispered. His heart went out to the little boy. He knew he would do anything to protect Noah from any hurt at all. “You know your mother would love to play catch with you.” He saw Noah nod slightly.

“It’s not the same.” He whispered.

“Did you talk to your mom about this?”

Noah shook his head. “I don’t want to make mommy sad.”  
Rafael sat up and scooped the boy in his arms. “You won’t make your mom sad, Noah.” He softly rubbed Noah’s back. “She’d love to play catch with you.”

“It’s not the same.”

“I know.” He paused for a brief moment. He reveled in the feeling of Noah snuggling closer to him. “I’d love to play catch with you, Noah.”

“Really?” Noah’s eyes were big, bright and he was full of excitement ready to go and play catch with his uncle. Then something dawned on him. “I don’t have a glove.” 

“We’ll buy some gloves tomorrow.”

“Can we play catch tomorrow too?” 

“Of course. If your mom’s okay with that.”

“Yes!” Noah cheered. He snuggled closer to his uncle and wrapped his small arms around his neck. “I love you uncle Rafa.” 

Rafael swallowed thickly, caught by the love he felt for the boy in his arms. “I love you too, sweet boy.” 

They talked a bit more about school and his friends. It wasn’t long though before Noah had yet another question. “Are you going to sleep in mommy’s big bed?”

“Yes, I am.” Rafael wondered if there were more questions to come. 

“Can we make breakfast again?”

“Sure, but like your mom said, not so early this time. You wait in your bed till one of us comes and gets you. Okay?”

Noah nodded. A familiar voice suddenly sounded from outside the fort. “Are girls allowed in the fort too?”

Rafael look at Noah. “I don’t know. I think we have to think about that, right Noah?” 

Noah pretended to think for a moment before he started giggling. “Yes Mommy.” 

Olivia crawled into the fort and smiled at the two. “This looks great you guys.”

Noah grabbed her hand and told her to lie down on her back. “Uncle Rafa is going to put stars on them. It’s going to be so cool, mommy.” 

“I bet it will.” Here she was, lying in between Rafael and Noah in a fort the two had made. 

“Can we all sleep in the fort?” Noah asked his mother. 

“How about we do that some other time?” Though she loved the idea of all three of them sleep in the fort, she wasn’t going to give up on having Rafael in her bed tonight. 

“You promise?” The boy’s voice held such hope. 

“I promise. Time to go to bed now, Noah.”

“Oooh.” Noah practically whined, not wanting to leave his fort. “Can I sleep in the fort?”

Olivia shook her head. She suspected he might wake up in the middle of the night and be scared alone in the fort. “Not tonight sweetheart.”

Noah looked at his uncle for help but didn’t get any. “Do I have to?”

“Yes you do.” She smiled. “Go brush your teeth.” She watched how Noah reluctantly left the fort. Now alone with Rafael, she turned her head to the side to look at him. “This is great, Rafael. Thank you for doing this with him.”

Rafael reached for her hand and squeezed it. “It’s my pleasure, Liv.”

“So next time there will be glow in the dark stars?” 

“Yes, if that’s okay with you.” Despite it being clear where they stood and where they were going, he didn’t quite know if she would be okay with him making promises to Noah. Which brought him to his plans for tomorrow. “I’d like to buy Noah a glove tomorrow.”

“A glove?” She didn’t understand what he was talking about.

“A baseball glove. He asked me to play catch with him.”

“Really?” She was surprised. Noah had never mentioned to her that he wanted to learn to play catch. He’d never shown any interest. 

“If you’d rather I don’t.” He wasn’t sure what to take of her hesitance. 

“No, it’s okay. I’m just surprised. He’s never really shown any interest.”

“He’s seen Clark playing catch with his dad. It’s something he wants to do too.” He knew he didn’t have to say more. Olivia would understand him.

“And that’s why he kept quiet.” She realized her son hadn’t mentioned wanting to play catch because he didn’t want to hurt her. Her sweet boy. She would have played with him if he’d mentioned it but she knew it wouldn’t be the same for her son. She was glad to have Rafael by her side, glad that Noah would now have Rafael in his life to share these things with. She turned on her side to him and snuggled closer to his warm body. “Thank you, Rafael.” 

Rafael shifted up on one elbow to lean slightly over Olivia. He looked down in her big brown eyes. He gently caressed her cheek with his thumb. “Liv.” He whispered roughly just before he closed the distance between them and brushed her lips with his. Olivia grabbed his shirt to hold him close. He kept the kiss light, merely brushing his lips against her, knowing that he couldn’t get carried away and he knew he would if he intended to deepen the kiss. However he should have known Olivia would tempt him. When she caught his bottom lip between hers and he felt the soft touch of her tongue for a brief second he couldn’t stop the groan that escaped him. It took all his willpower not to give in to temptation. Instead he pulled back reluctantly. “You don’t play fair.” He whispered.

“I’m ready mom. Will you read me a story in the fort uncle Rafa?” Noah was back in the fort with them and Rafael and Olivia reluctantly pulled apart. 

“Sure. Why don’t you chose a book and we’ll read in here. After that, straight to bed.”

TBC...


	16. Good together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Rafael finally have some time for themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the time it took to update. I was working on a fic for the Barson daily fic-a-then. This chapter is a bit shorter than usual. But Rafael and Olivia finally kiss. I still hope you enjoy it. To all reviewing, reading and leaving kudos. Thank you and I hope you keep enjoying this one.

Chapter sixteen

While Rafael dismantled the fort, Olivia helped Noah get ready. As Rafael read Noah a story, Olivia sat on the bed and watched them. Both kissed Noah good night before leaving his bed room. Leaving the door slightly ajar, just in case Noah needed them. Rafael reached for her hand, entwined their fingers and led them back to the living room. With a slight tug on her hand he pulled her close. He needed to kiss her, to really kiss her. The yearning within him was too strong to ignore. He let go of her hand and cupped her face in his palms. He held her eyes for a moment, thrilled by the love he saw in them. He leaned in but just before his lips could touch hers he held still, his breath ghosting over her lips. He delighted in the small whimper she let out. Not wanting to tease either of them anymore he finally brushed his lips with hers. This time more firmly than before. He retaliated her earlier move when he captured her bottom lip between his, lightly nipping at it before brushing his tongue over it. Olivia sighed and he tilted her head, slanting his mouth over hers and deepening the kiss. Needing to feel more of her his hands began to explore her curves and pulled her closer. He got lost in the moment, lost in her, lost in every feeling of passion, desire and immense love she evoked within him. How he wanted her. 

She’d expected they’d be good together. But she hadn’t expected the strength of the passion and electricity between them. She hadn’t ever experiences that before with anyone. She realized she could easily be swept away by it, forget herself in it. She didn’t want that, she didn’t want this to be rushed. She wanted to savor, she wanted to experience every step. She sighed when he trailed kisses from her jaw, to her ear and back down her neck. “Rafael.” She whispered. 

“Mmm..” Was his response. He was completely focused on how she felt in his arms, how she reacted to his touch, to his kisses and the desire he felt for her. He slid his hands under the back of her shirt while he kissed her lips again, his tongue seeking hers out immediately. He couldn’t get enough of her and he couldn’t ever imagine that would change. His desire for her was all consuming but he was still very much in tune with her and he felt a hesitance from her. He slowed their kiss and with a final brush of his lips against hers he slightly pulled away. He slid his hands from under her shirt and rest them on her hips to keep her close. “Tell me, Liv.”

She wasn’t surprised that he’d felt her hesitance. She put her head on his shoulder and gave herself a moment. “We’re good together.”

He smiled even tough she couldn’t see it. “We are.” He tightened his hold on her as if he wanted to pull her closer. “I knew we would.”

“I want to take things slow.” She tried to explain her hesitance. 

“Mmm..” He kissed her head. “I like slow. I’m good at slow.”

For a moment her mind drifted. She had no doubt he would be very good. She shivered. “Rafael.” She needed him to understand her. “I don’t want us to rush. This is too important to be rushed.” She collected her thoughts for a few seconds but before she could say anything more Rafael spoke. 

“You set the pace, Liv.” 

His words warmed her heart. He was such a sweet man. She pulled back from him a bit. “I want to take time to find our way in this new dynamic. We live busy lives and I don’t want to get caught up in it all and not experience us. And I can’t rush this either because of Noah. I need to give him time to adjust to this change too.”

“Of course.”

She looked at him. “I want to go on dates with you. I want you in my bed and make love to you.” What she didn’t say, but what she meant was, she wanted to make love to him when her son wouldn’t be at home to disturb them. Did that make her a bad mother? 

He leaned in and kissed her softly. “I will take you out on dates and there will never be a time when I don’t want to be in your bed.” He held her eyes. “And when we make love, we’ll make sure Noah’s at a sleep over so we can take our time and you can be as loud as you want to be.” He grinned at his final words. He wasn’t taking her words lightly, but he also knew what she had omitted. 

She wanted to wipe the grin off of his face and knew exactly how. She grabbed his hips, pulled him against her and kissed him deeply. She bit his lip and his responding moan gave her the chance to sweep her tongue in his mouth and tease him. Purposely she slightly grinded her hips against him. He groaned deeply and grabbed at her back to hold her against him. He was about to walk her back against the wall when she stopped him. “Now who’s the loud one.” She teased and smiled.

“You don’t play fair.”

“Neither do you. How about we watch a movie?”

“Sure. You pick, I’ll get us a glass of wine.” He squeezed her hand, kissed her temple and left her to choose the movie. 

TBC...


	17. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nightmare plagues Olivia and it creates a rift between her and Rafael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bring on the angst. I couldn’t stop myself nor did I want to. I do hope the angst won’t scare anyone away. I hope you will keep reading. I keep saying it, because it’s true. Thanks to all who review, leave kudos and read this.

It were her soft whimpers that woke him up. They’d fallen asleep with her wrapped in his arms. Some time during the night she’d slipped from his arms and turned on her side with her back towards him. He turned towards her as her whimpers got louder. When he shifted closer, he realized she was having a nightmare and her whimpers were her saying no. He gently put his hand on her hip trying to let her know he was there for her. Instead she curled into herself and her distress increased. He felt her trembling beneath his hand. He carefully put his hand over her waist, hoping it would calm her down. The opposite happened.

“No.” She practically screamed. “Don’t hurt me.” 

Her scream, the fear he could so clearly hear, scared him. Not only did it scare him, it hurt him. He didn’t ever want to hear this fear in her voice. His heart was now thudding loudly in his chest. She was still caught in her dream and he needed to wake her up but he also didn’t want to frighten her. He hoped that maybe his voice would do the trick. “Liv.” He tried. “Liv.” This time a bit louder. “Olivia.” He now tried with a raised voice. She still didn’t wake up. Her movements were becoming more erratic. Closing the distance she’d created between them again, he gently put his hand on her shoulder. “Olivia.” 

She started struggling as if his hand on her shoulder was holding him down. It still didn’t wake her up. He could guess what or maybe better said who was the topic of her nightmare. It was why he didn’t want to use more pressure to wake her. Yet he also wanted to help her escape her nightmare. It also hurt him too much to see her like this. What he didn’t foresee was that his pain would only get worse. 

She suddenly sat up straight, pushed him away from her and grabbed her pillow in her arms, holding it against her chest. Her breathing was rapid, shuddering, her heart beating loudly in her chest. She was no longer caught in her nightmare but she wasn’t fully awake yet either. It was as if she was still surrounded by a thick fog where the remnants of her nightmare were battling with reality. She hated the fog. She squeezed her pillow and tried her best to calm her breathing. She knew she was safe, knew he could no longer her hurt, she knew it all too well, yet fear still had her heart in its grip. She felt the bed dip and immediately shifted away. She needed space. When she felt him shift closer again she scrambled out of bed. 

“Don’t.” She warned him. She squeezed her eyes shut. Her voice caught in her throat. It was all still too close to the surface. She couldn’t look at him, afraid that his face would distort into her nightmare.

He watched how she stood next to the bed. She was still clutching her pillow in her hands, still holding it tight against her chest. Was it her way of protecting herself or did it bring her a bit of comfort, or maybe it was both? He wanted to be the one to bring her comfort. It hurt that she clearly didn’t want him close. He had to push that aside. He needed to focus on her, to give her whatever she needed. It hurt him deeply to see her like this. He hadn’t know she was still haunted by nightmares. She hadn’t told him. Why? By now tears were flowing freely down her cheeks and he felt them starting to well in his eyes too. He wanted to go to her, hold her close and let her know she was safe with him. He would make sure no one would hurt her. He wanted her to feel safe with him, he had thought she did. He pulled the covers back and carefully made his way over to her side of the bed. 

“Don’t.” Olivia said once more. She saw him moving closer from the corner of her eyes. It made her nervous. Though her mind was getting clearer, the images no longer at the forefront, she still needed her space. 

He stopped immediately, despite the fact that a big part of him just wanted to wrap her in his arms. He stayed seated on the bed and looked at her. It pained him that he couldn’t bring her some form of comfort, that she was pushing him away. He knew this wasn’t about him, he knew he shouldn’t feel like that, but it still hurt him. He kept silent and waited for her. He would follow her lead. 

She felt his eyes on her. While normally she wouldn’t mind, she even liked it, she couldn’t deal with them now. They made her feel pressured. As if she needed to be okay for him. She’d dealt with these nightmares on her own for years. She wasn’t used to sharing them and she didn’t know if she could. She didn’t know how. She wasn’t used to this level of vulnerability. The urge to put her walls back up, maybe even make them thicker than they were, was close to the surface. With the adrenaline of the nightmare leaving her body, she started to feel cold and began to shiver. She let go of the pillow she had still been holding.  
She made her way through the dark. Passing the chair she grabbed the sweatshirt that was on it. She quickly pulled it on and it was then that she realized it was Rafael’s. She breathed in his scent and realized it calmed her down a bit. She walked to the door, still feeling his eyes on her. “I need space.” She whispered. She had her hand on the door handle, ready to leave. “I need time.” She quietly left her bedroom and closed the door behind her. 

TBC...


	18. One step forward...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Olivia are both coping with her nightmare and are unsure how to move forward. Rafael takes the first step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite bringing the angst Rafael and Olivia are still moving forward. I felt like this was a part of herself that Olivia still needed to share with Rafael, to open up to him about it. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. Thanks for the comments, the kudos and to all who are reading. I really love these characters and this ship.

He didn’t want to be here, in her bedroom, alone without her. Every cell in his body told him to go to her. He couldn’t. He had to ignore what he wanted and needed to focus on what she needed. She needed space and had clearly told him so. He had to push aside the hurt and the pain her dismissal caused him. He knew it was no indication of the fragility of their relationship. He knew it, he kept repeating it to himself, yet it seemed futile. He felt it all. What was he to do? Just stay here in her bedroom hoping she’d come back to him. If she did, what would that mean? Would she be willing to talk? Would she push him away? Would she share her pain with him, seek comfort in him? He didn’t know. He stood up and started pacing. He tried to listen for any sounds that would tell him she was coming back to him. There were none. He went to the door, put his hand on the handle and took a deep breath. He had to stay here. He couldn’t go out there. He let go of the handle and put his head against the door. He put his fit up and softly hit the door with it. He kept fighting with himself. By now the tears he’d been holding back, were flowing freely down his cheeks. He turned around, slid down the door until he could sit down. There, slumped against the door, the tears rolling down his cheeks, the back of his head against the door, he would wait for her. He just hoped she would come back to him.

After leaving the bedroom the first thing Olivia did, was what she always did when she’d had a nightmare. She walked to her son’s room, pushed the door open a bit wider and in the doorway she looked at him sleeping. It was the only thing that could calm her down a bit. A couple of minutes later she walked away. On her way to the living room she glanced at her closed bedroom door. She hesitated in front of it. She wiped away her tears. She knew she’d hurt him by walking away from him. She just couldn’t deal with him now. She needed all her strength to focus on getting herself through this. She made her way to the kitchen and prepared herself a cup of tea. She padded to the living room and sat down. She grabbed the blanket that was on the back of the couch and wrapped it around herself. She kept concentrating on her breathing, on the warmth of the cup of tea in her hands and the comfort the blanket brought her. She needed to feel grounded before she could even consider working through her nightmare. 

She’d kept this part of herself hidden from Brian and Ed. Not the nightmares, she couldn’t hide those, but she’d always refused to talk about them and they’d never tried to talk to her about them. She didn’t want it to be the same with Rafael. She also knew that he still felt guilty about the whole Lewis ordeal. She didn’t want to add to that. She stared at her cup of tea as if it held all the answers. She knew she needed Rafael. Asking for help wasn’t easy for her. Still maybe Rafael could help her deal with the nightmares, maybe he could give her the sense of safety she still missed at night. The remnants of the dreams hadn’t left her and she needed them gone before she could think about how to handle the situation with Rafael. 

Rafael had lost track of time. After a while he’d gotten up again and sat back down on the bed. He’d kept watching the door hoping she would return to him. When she didn’t he’d started pacing again. Usually the pacing helped him clear his mind. This time it had the opposite effect, it made him even more restless and unsure. He didn’t want to leave her alone for too long afraid she was going to close herself off from him. He also knew that she would find it very difficult to reach out to him for comfort despite wanting or needing it. The longer he waited, the bigger the chance that her walls were back up again and she would wave off her nightmare as if it was no big deal. While he knew when to push Olivia and when not, he wasn’t sure about it when she seemed this vulnerable. He was going to have to thread carefully and not scare her away. 

He left the bedroom and silently made his way to the living room. There she was curled up on the couch. He couldn’t see yet if she was sleeping or not. He walked around the couch and sat down on the coffee table. She had a blanket wrapped around her and one of the couch pillows on her lap. She was playing with a thread, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t aware of his presence. He leaned forward a bit. “Hey.” He softly said. She looked at him after a moment, as if she needed some time to gather herself. Her cheeks were still tear stained and her eyes were full of pain. He could hear the tremble in her voice in her soft, short greeting. 

“I’m sorry.” She apologized. 

He kept silent, wondering what she was apologizing for. 

“I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that.” She kept her eyes on the pillow she had on her lap. She couldn’t look at him yet. “It always takes me a while to shake the hold the nightmare has on me.” She finally glanced at him. She was relieved his eyes held no judgement. “When I saw you move closer, I didn’t know how to handle that so I went with my first instinct which was to keep you at a distance.” She took a deep breath. Her tears were rolling down her cheeks again, but she didn’t want to cry anymore. She wiped them away but they kept on falling. “I’ve always dealt with my nightmares alone. I’m not used to sharing that part of me. It’s difficult.”

Why had she dealt with these nightmares all alone? Why hadn’t Brian or Tucker helped her with them? “Didn’t Brian or...”

“No.” She didn’t let him finish his sentence. “I couldn’t. Brian tried so hard to help me through it all, but I wasn’t ready. I saw the pain in his eyes and I couldn’t burden him any more than I already had.”

“And Tucker?”

“With Tucker it was different.” She saw his eyes harden at her words. She knew she’d hurt him deeply with her relationship with Tucker and the way she’d kept it hidden from him. “I never truly...” She wasn’t sure how to say it. Her relationship with Tucker had been doomed to fail from the beginning. She’d never been all in with him. Her mind and heart had always belonged to the man sitting in front of her. She’d just been too scared to give in to her feelings. She knew she didn’t have to finish her sentence for him. He understood her. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He hated the idea that she’d been dealing with her nightmares on her own. Didn’t she know he would have been there for her? Had she doubted him?

She ran a hand through her hair and curled a bit deeper into the couch. “It didn’t seem fair.” 

“What do you mean?”

“You never really talked about it, but I knew you were dealing with a unwarranted sense of guilt. I couldn’t burden you with my problems. I was afraid it would make matters worse.”

He sat forward and when he did he saw Olivia flinch. Clearly the remnants of the nightmare were still clinging to her. “I wish you would have come to me. I would have been there for you.”

She nodded and in doing her so her hair fell in front of her face. “I know. I’m sorry.”

TBC...


	19. Comfort and a promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Rafael talk a bit more and Rafael and Noah share a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last bit of a tiny bit of angst. Also some Noah and Rafael in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it. To those who read, comment and leave kudos. Thank you very much. I really enjoy this fic and this fandom.

There was no need for her to apologize. He understood where she was coming from. He still blamed himself for the failure of not getting Lewis in jail. If he had Lewis wouldn’t have hurt Olivia. He had never talked to her about it for the same reason. He couldn’t burden her. “I didn’t know your nightmares were still so heavy.” 

She shrugged. “It’s been worse. I don’t have them every night anymore. When we’ve had an especially bad case I know to expect the nightmares. I sort of prepare myself for it.” She looked away for a moment. “Other times I don’t know what triggers them. I was afraid I would have them yesterday when we were at your apartment. I thought the unfamiliar surroundings would trigger something. I was glad it didn’t.” She started wringing her hands as she continued. “I had such a great day with you. I love spending time with you.”

“Me too. There’s no place I’d rather be.”

She smiled at his words. They brought her some comfort. “I thought.” She swallowed thickly, unsure how to continue. 

He saw how tense she was. She was barely holding it together, her fists were clenched tightly. Slowly he covered her fist with his hand, caressing it softly with his thumb. “Tell me.” He carefully prodded. 

“I’d hope that with you next to me, with your arms around me, the nightmares would stay away. I feel safe with you and I’ve never felt that with someone else before. What does it mean that even with you I can’t get rid of these nightmares?” She took a deep breath and looked at him.

He could see she was fighting hard to stop the tears from falling. He guessed she didn’t want to cry in front of him anymore. The helplessness in her eyes broke his heart. He could see she was battling with herself. What her inner battle was about he didn’t know. “Can I hold you?” All he wanted was to hold her in his arms and protect her from the world. 

“Please.” Was all she managed to say before she crumbled. 

He quickly stood up, sat down next to her on the couch and wrapped her in his arms. She immediately grabbed his shirt, put her head in the crook of his neck and for the first time she let it all go. Rafael kept her close as she cried. “I’m here.” He whispered, hoping that talking to her would also bring some comfort. At some point they would have to have a longer conversation about getting her to deal with her nightmares. After a while, he felt her body start to relax and her breathing evening out. She’d fallen asleep. He only hoped it would be one without nightmares. He carefully shifted her away from him so her could stand and lift her in his arms. He loved how she cuddled closer as he held her. In her bedroom he gently laid her down on her bed. She reached out for him and not finding him she whimpered in distress. He quickly slid onto the bed and covered them both with her sheets. “I’m here Liv.” He kissed her forehead and wrapped her in his arms again. She immediately settled down and snuggled closer into his warmth. The rest of the night was one without dreams haunting either of them.

When he woke up he could see by the light shining through the window it was morning. Olivia had turned away from him again during her sleep, her back towards him. But he’d turned with her, his larger body now spooning hers. She was still asleep. It seemed that the nightmares had stayed away and he was glad that was the case. He wanted to stay in bed with her, to let her sleep and get the rest she deserved. He wanted her to stay in his arms, afraid that she might be hesitant around him, he wanted to protect her from the world. Reluctantly he rolled away from her. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table to check the time. It was later than he’d expected and it surprised him Noah hadn’t disturbed them yet. Though they’d said to him to stay in his bedroom till one of them would get them, he hadn’t expected Noah to keep himself occupied long enough to not disturb them. He glanced at Olivia once more and left the comfort of her bed. He padded to Noah’s bedroom and he heard him talking. He couldn’t make out the words. He quietly pushed the door open. Noah was on the bed, Eddie at his side and a book on his lap. He was reading Eddie a book. 

“Good morning, amigo.” Rafael made his presence known. Noah’s bright smile upon seeing him filled his heart with joy.

“Morning uncle Rafa.” Noah jumped off his bed, the book quickly forgotten, and hugged his uncle. “Can we play catch now?” He asked eagerly. 

Rafael laughed. “Not yet. First, we need to prepare breakfast.”

Noah seemed to contemplate that for a moment and decided he agreed. His stomach rumbled loudly in agreement too. “Can we make pancakes again?”

“Sure.” He followed Noah to the kitchen. “Thank you for staying in bed this morning and letting us sleep.” 

Noah considered Rafael’s words. “Mommy said to stay in bed.” Noah watched how Rafael got everything he needed for the pancakes. “Uncle Rafa?”

Rafael hummed and turned to the boy. He watched and waited for him to continue. “Did you sleep in Mommy’s bed?”

Rafael stopped mid preparation. “I did.”

Noah was quiet for a moment. “Sometimes Mommy has bad dreams.” Noah, who of course had brought Eddie with him, held on to the stuffed elephant. He started playing with Eddie’s ears. “And she cries.” He looked at the man who was now crouched down in front of him. “Mommy always helps me with my bad dreams. Maybe you can help mommy?”

Rafael knew Olivia well enough to know she tried her hardest to keep her nightmares away from Noah. She didn’t want him to know about them. It didn’t surprise him that Noah was aware of them. The boy was perceptive. He also knew Noah didn’t want to make his mother sad which is why he kept things like this to himself. Rafael was glad the boy did share his worries with him. “Are you worried about your mother?” Noah’s affirmative nod pained him. He squeezed the boys knees. “Let me worry about your mother, okay? I promise you I won’t let anything to happen to her.”

“You promise?” Noah looked at his uncle, his eyes big and wide, his voice soft and trembling.

“I promise.” He needed Noah to promise him something too. “You know you can tell your mother anything, right?” Again Noah nodded. “But I understand that some things you don’t want to tell her. You can tell me. I’ll always help you any way I can. There’s always a solution. Promise me you come find me if there’s something you’re worried about.” 

“Okay uncle Rafa.” 

Rafael cradled the boy’s face in his hands. “I’m serious. Promise me, Noah.”

“I promise, uncle Rafa.”

“Good.” He kissed the boy’s hair and stood up. “How about we finish making breakfast and surprise mommy with breakfast in bed?”

TBC...


	20. Some shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to pick out some baseball gear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There really isn’t much happening in this chapter. Just a moment between Olivia and Rafael and a moment between all three of them.   
> For those of you still hanging in there with me. Thank you for reading, thank you for the kudos and for the comments. I hope you will still continue to enjoy this one.

He’d left Noah alone to wake up Olivia. He guessed, after the night she’d had, she’d need a moment to herself before having breakfast in bed with him and Noah. He quietly opened the bedroom door. He was glad she was still asleep knowing how much she needed it. He made his way over to her side of the bed and sat down on the edge. He looked at her. She was so beautiful it made him catch his breath. Her face was relaxed, nothing seemed to be haunting her and from her deep even breaths he knew she was still fast asleep. He started to caress her to wake her up slowly. He didn’t want to startle her. “Olivia.” He said softly. She stirred briefly, but didn’t wake up yet. He ran his hand up her side, before caressing her hair again. “Olivia, mi alma.” The term of endearment slipping easily of her tong. He tried once more, this time a bit louder. He didn’t want to startle her. 

This time when she stirred, she started to wake up. “Rafa?” She rolled onto her back. She opened her eyes and found him looking at her. She smiled lazily at him. “Morning.”   
“Morning.” He smiled back at her. He didn’t stop himself from cupping her jaw and caressing her skin with his thumb. 

“What time is it?” 

“Time for breakfast. Noah and I prepared breakfast in bed for you.”

“That’s nice.” She grabbed his wrist of the hand that was cupping her face. She wanted to pull him back in bed and just have it be the two of them. She wanted to feel close to him. 

“I’ll give you a moment and Noah and I’ll be back with breakfast.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips over her forehead. 

“Okay.” She watched him stand up from the bed and make his way to the door. “A girl can get used to this.” She said to him before he left.

“I have no problem with that.” He glanced at her. Sitting on her bed, her hair messy from sleep, her eyes unguarded and warm as she looked at him. It left him shortly without a breath. He needed to stop himself from joining her in the bed, wrap her in his arms and kiss her till he couldn’t breath. 

“You gonna stand there all day?” Olivia teased.

“Euhh, right. I’ll.., I’m going to get breakfast now.” He stumbled and quickly left the room. 

On their way to the park Rafael, Olivia and Noah stopped at a sports store. Noah was buzzing with excitement. He immediately ran towards the baseball gear. Rafael and Olivia followed in a more leisure pace. Rafael hadn’t really played a lot of baseball when he was a kid. He’d given little league a try and though it had been a nice escape from home it hadn’t really been his thing. In high school he’d given it another try, hoping to impress a girl, but again it wasn’t a success. He could play a bit, he was a half decent batter and he could run. Standing in the out field waiting for a ball to go his way, it bored him and when a ball did come his way he couldn’t be bothered with it any more. And so after a few games he quit and he hadn’t felt like he was missing out. This was the first time that he did feel any regret. He didn’t want to disappoint Noah who was so clearly excited about the idea of playing catch with him. Noah immediately started to fire question after question at him. Wanting to know why there were so many different gloves and which one was the best. Then he ran towards the bats, touched as many as he could and pointed at some bright colored bats that grabbed his attention. Noah looked at him for the answers to his questions and he didn’t have them. Luckily for him the store clerk of the baseball section had spotted them and had heard Noah’s questions and began answering them. It gave Rafael a moment to compose himself.

“Everything okay?” Olivia put her hand on his back. She’d seen some hesitance in Rafael.

He nodded. He saw some doubt in her eyes, but didn’t want to worry her and really there was nothing to worry about. It was just his self doubt plaguing him. He squeezed her hand and let go to join Noah. He listened closely in case Noah would have any questions later on. 

“Let’s go find you and your son some gloves.” Patrick, the store clerk, preceded them to the gloves. 

Olivia watched her two boys from a short distance. She’d seen Rafael’s reaction, a big smile, when he and Noah were referred to father and son. If he’d looked at her, he would have seen the same smile on her face. She loved how Noah kept close to Rafael. 

“Mommy.” Noah called out to her. “You need a glove too.”

She shook her head. She wanted this to be something for Rafael and Noah. It was what Noah wanted. 

“You have to have one too, Liv.” He knew why she refused. “Otherwise we can’t properly play baseball.”

She relented and joined them. The three of them all picked out a glove and completed their gear with two bats, one for Rafael and one for Noah and of course baseballs. Rafael had seen Noah looking at the baseball jerseys. He hoped that Olivia wouldn’t mind him buying him some gear. “You know Noah, you need one more thing before you can play baseball.” 

Noah looked at his uncle. He didn’t know what that meant. He looked at the glove in his hand and the bats his mother was holding in her hands. “What is it, uncle Rafa?”

“You need a proper baseball jersey.” 

“Really?”

“Yes. Come, let’s go find you one.” 

Olivia looked at Rafael and Noah looking through the different jerseys. Noah had Rafael wrapped around his finger. She grinned when she saw Noah pick out matching jerseys for him and Rafael. Now with their baseball gear complete Rafael paid for all their items and could go on their way to the park. 

“I hope you don’t mind I paid.” He hoped he hadn’t crossed a line. She hadn’t objected in the store. He wanted this to be special for Noah.

Olivia squeezed his hand.”I don’t mind.” She knew this was something he wanted to do for Noah. 

“Thank you.” He whispered. He leaned in and kissed her temple. The warmth he felt within when he was with Olivia and Noah was still very new to him. He loved the both of them wholeheartedly. He never considered having a family, never thought he deserved one. Most of all the implications of being a family, being a father scared him. He’d never truly dealt with what he’d lived through. From an early age on he’d always been good at compartmentalizing.

TBC...


	21. A game of catch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael, Noah and Olivia play catch in the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled a bit with his chapter. It’s with the more descriptive writing that the fact that English isn’t my native language makes it challenging. I hope it’s still okay. Nothing special happens in this chapter. Just some scenes at the park. Despite that I hope you still enjoy.

They found a good spot in the park where they had a bit of space to play catch. Olivia decided to stay back and just watch her two men. They looked cute in their matching jerseys. 

Rafael kneeled down in front of Noah and helped him put the glove on. “We’re just going to throw the ball okay?” 

Noah nodded. “You’ll be careful, uncle Rafa?” He was feeling a bit nervous. 

“I will.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.” Rafael padded the boy’s shoulder before stepping back and putting his glove on. He held the ball in his other hand. The distance between them was only a couple of feet. “Here we go.” He warned Noah before slowly throwing the ball with a slight bow to the boy. He watched how Noah stopped himself from taking a step back as the ball got closer to him. Noah held the glove up and a few seconds later he’d caught the ball. The boy beamed.

“I got it.” Noah cheered. 

Just like Noah, Rafael beamed too, proud of the boy. “Great job.” He waited a moment till Noah stopped bouncing. “How about you throw it back at me?” Noah nodded and threw the ball successfully back at Rafael. Before long they were throwing the ball back and forth between them. The distance was still short, but that didn’t matter. Noah kept smiling the whole time. Sometimes asking his mother if she’d seen him catch the ball. 

After a short break, Noah wanted to try throw the ball with a bit more distance between them. It was a bit harder for Noah to catch the ball, but after a few failed attempts and with Rafael’s words of encouragement he managed to catch the ball. 

Olivia watched it all with a lot of pride. The love she felt for the man she’d only just let into her heart seemed to get stronger with every passing day. And moments like this, where he was teaching her son, encouraging him, helping him, loving him, she knew the both of them were safe with him. The warmth that settled within her was new but she welcomed it. 

“You gotta move further away, uncle Rafa.” Noah’s confidence got stronger with each ball he caught. He’d seen older kids catch the ball from a lot bigger distance and he wanted to be able to do the same.

“How about we continue like this?” Rafael tried to convince Noah. He saw the stubborn look in his eyes and he already knew he would cave in.

“No, I can do it uncle Rafa.” He started to move backwards already to create the distance he wanted.

The distance Noah put between them was quite big, yet Rafael kept throwing the ball as softly as he could at Noah. Noah struggled with the bigger distance, missing the ball or the ball would slip out of the glove. 

“How about we take a break?” Rafael suggested. He saw Noah was getting frustrated.

“No.” 

Rafael stopped himself from smiling. That stubborn streak was so similar to Olivia’s. He tried again. “Come on, let’s go sit with your mom for a moment. I could use a bit of rest.” 

Reluctantly Noah nodded and followed his uncle to his mother. “How about I get us something to drink?” Rafael suggested as they joined Olivia at the bench. 

Olivia ruffled her son’s hair as he sat down next to her. “You looked great out there. Did you enjoy yourself?”

Noah shrugged. He threw his glove on the ground and crossed his arms. 

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” 

At first he didn’t say anything, but after a moment Noah started talking. “I can’t catch the ball.”

“That’s not true. You were really good.”

He shook his head. “I want to catch the ball like the other boys.”

“What do you mean?”

Noah slid closer to his mother, till he could lean against her side. “The other boys can catch the ball from really far.” 

She put her arm around her son’s shoulder and pulled him against her. “Those other boys have had more practice. This is the first time you’re playing catch. You’re doing great sweetheart. If you keep practicing you’ll catch the ball from really far too.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” She told her boy. “Did you have fun with Uncle Rafa?” She asked once more. 

Finally he smiled as he looked up at his mother. “Yes. Uncle Rafa’s the best.” 

“He is, huh.” It wasn’t the first time her son had told her that his uncle Rafa was the best. Rafael joined them with drinks for all three of them. They sat and chatted for a while, till Noah got impatient, telling hem he wanted to try throwing the ball again. This time Rafael asked Olivia to throw the ball so he could help Noah with catching the ball from a greater distance. Still it took Noah far longer than he wanted to catch the ball and he was getting frustrated again. 

Seeing Noah’s frustration again, Rafael signaled Olivia to give them a moment. He crouched down in front of the boy. The boy was trembling slightly. “Take a deep breath, Noah.” He settled his hands on Noah’s shoulders. 

“It’s too hard.” He whined. 

“No, it’s not.” He wanted Noah to enjoy himself and not put too much pressure on himself. Yet he also wanted to encourage him to keep trying, to have faith in himself. “Let’s try again okay. Keep your eyes on the ball and hold your free hand next to the gloved one and hold them up.” He stood back up and nodded at Olivia to throw the ball once more. He kept close to Noah and followed the ball Olivia threw at her son. He softly told Noah to take a few step backs. 

Noah held his arms high, kept his eyes on the ball and a few seconds later, he caught the ball in his glove and managed to keep hold of it. When he did, he cheered loudly. “Did you see me, Mommy? Uncle Rafa?” He jumped up and down before he threw himself at his uncle, wrapping his arms around his neck. 

Rafael laughed. He spun the boy around a bit and kissed his temple. He held him close against his chest. “Great job, mijo.” He told the small boy. 

TBC...


	22. A dog and a ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah gets hurt and angry and his uncle Rafael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally an update. I hope it doesn’t disappoint. I think this fic is nearing its end. In this chapter some more interaction between Noah and Rafael. I wanted there to be a bit of tension between them and have it resolved almost immediately also. It just couldn’t be all happy and cheery.   
> As always thank you for those who follow, leaves kudos, read and comment. I really appreciate it.

He could see Noah was getting tired, but the boy refused to quit. It was as if he was determined to learn it all in one day. Noah’s eyes sparkled and Rafael was happy that he could bring the boy such joy with something so simple as throwing the ball. He couldn’t remember he’d ever thrown a ball with his father. For the most part he tried not to think about his youth. He’d dealt with it and left it behind. He suggested Noah once more to call it a day. 

“No, uncle Rafa. Can you throw the ball really hard and fast? I wanna try and catch it.”

“I’m not so sure if that’s a good idea.”

“I can do it.”

He still wasn’t sure though. “We’ll do that next time, okay.” He tried. 

“Please Uncle Rafa. I know I can do it.”

Rafael shook his head. He had a hard time saying no to Noah. “Just be careful. I don’t want to hurt you.” Seeing Noah’s nod Rafael waited a moment to make sure Noah was focused. Seeing that he was, he threw the ball harder and faster than before. With the ball mid air, Rafael saw Noah was no longer paying attention. A dog approaching them had caught Noah’s attention. He’d noticed already that Noah seemed to really love dogs. Each one he saw he wanted to pet. Olivia had taught him to ask first before petting the dog and Noah did so. Problem was he practically wanted to pet every dog he saw. This time was no different than before. Noah seemed to have forgotten the ball that was heading his way. He was already focused on the dog. Rafael yelled Noah’s name, but it was already too late, the ball hitting Noah on his shoulder. 

Immediately Noah yelled for his mother and the tears started to flow. Rafael, feeling guilty, was on his way too. Olivia was quickly at her son’s side and swept him in her arms. She’d seen it happen. Noah would have quite a bruise on his shoulder, but nothing worse than that. Rafael simply hadn’t thrown the ball hard enough to cause more damage. She held Noah close and his arms were wrapped tightly around her neck. As if he was afraid she would let go. She watched Rafael approach them. Not only was the guilt in his eyes clear to see, she guessed the sadness she saw was a result of Noah’s tears. This was the first time he witnessed Noah in tears. Sure he’d been a witness to Noah’s stubbornness and little tantrums, but he’d never seen Noah crying because he was hurt. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” Olivia reassured him. “I’ve got you.”

“Mommy.” Noah whimpered. When he looked up from his mother’s arms, Noah spotted his uncle Rafa. When Rafael reached for him, Noah shook his head. “No, uncle Rafa.” He said with anger at the man he called uncle. 

At Noah’s angry words and eyes Rafael took a step back, as if he’d been struck. The guilt he already felt doubling. Olivia saw Rafael tense and felt Noah do the same in her arms. 

“I’m sorry, Noah.” Rafael’s voice was soft, laced with the guilt he felt. He watched how Noah gripped his mother even tighter. Rafael shifted on his feet and looked away. “I’ll go grab our stuff and then we can go home.” He turned and walked away. It was probably best he gave Noah and Olivia a moment. 

Olivia nodded and watched him walk away. She wanted to go after him, but first needed to talk with Noah. She put him down on the grass and crouched down in front of him. He looked at her, his blue eyes still watery. She checked his shoulder and when she felt no bump she guessed the ball hadn’t fully hit him on the shoulder. She looked back at him and brushed away the curls that fell almost in front of his eyes. She really needed to get him a hair cut. “Noah, you know this wasn’t uncle Rafa’s fault.”

“He threw the ball really hard.” 

“You asked him too.”

“He hit me.”

“He tried to warn you, but you got distracted.”

“I wanted to pet the dog.”

“And you forgot about the ball, didn’t you?”

Noah was silent a moment. “Yes.” He softly admitted.

“And that wasn’t uncle Rafa’s fault, was it?”

“No.” He said just as softly. “I’m sorry, mommy.” Tears were once more rolling down his cheeks. 

“I know you are.” She pulled him into her arms. “You have to apologize to uncle Rafa. You hurt him.” She kissed his cheek and pulled back a bit. “Go see him and tell him you’re sorry.” She felt Noah nod and let him go. She watched him with his head hung low walk to Rafael who had kept his distance as she’d talked to her son. 

Rafael watched Noah approach him. Gone was the happy, energetic demeanor. Now he was quiet and sad. Noah grabbed his hand and and pulled on it, wanting him to crouch down and Rafael did so. Noah wrapped his little arms around the older man’s neck. “I’m sorry uncle Rafa.” He put his head on the man’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry you got hurt.” Rafael wrapped his arm around him, held him close and kissed his head. “You okay?”

Noah nodded against Rafael’s shoulder. 

“Does your shoulder hurt?”

“Yes.” Noah sniffed. 

“Best to take it easy for a bit.” Once again he felt Noah nod against him. “How about we go home?”

“Can you carry me?” 

He wondered if he could ever say no to Noah when he looked at him with those big, sad eyes. “Your feet got hurt too, buddy?” He teased.

“Yes.” Noah giggled when Rafael tickled his sides. 

“Really?” He tickled him some more, glad to hear Noah’s laughter. He grabbed Noah and pulled him up into his arms. “Let’s go to your mom and go home.” 

“Uncle Rafa.” Noah started after a moment of silence. “Can we get a dog?” 

TBC...


	23. This is home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weekend ends and Rafael isn’t too happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The final chapter of this fic. This was my first Barson multi-chapter fic and I’m happy with it. I really enjoy these characters. Thank you to those who hung in there till the end. Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and comments.  
> And now with this fic finished, I can focus on that other fic Superman.

Olivia watched Rafael follow her son to his bedroom. Noah’s hand clasped in the man’s hand. Noah had insisted Rafael would help him get ready for bed and read him a story. He’d kissed her goodnight. Usually it was much more difficult to get him to bed.She smiled. Though she could only see their backs, she knew her son was completely focused on the man he so clearly adored and she knew the feeling was mutual. Still something was up with Rafael. Ever since they’d returned from the park he’d been holding back. Not a lot, and certainly not in a way that Noah noticed, but it was there. At first she’d wondered that maybe the moment in the park, with Noah blaming him for getting hurt, still lingered. Yet for the rest of the afternoon and evening there was no indication that it still bothered him. He and Noah had played lego and later on they’d watched another Disney movie, this time Finding Dory. Rafael, who hadn’t seen the previous one, had gotten a quick explanation from Noah so he was up to speed. Noah had then cuddled close against his uncle and mostly kept talking the entire movie about what he saw, what he liked and what was scary. Rafael didn’t seem to mind and paid close attention to everything Noah told him. At that moment she loved him even more. Yet she felt it in his touches that something was up and it was as if their closeness was just a bit less close.  
“Did you enjoy your day?” Rafael picked up some of Noah’s toys which were scattered on the floor. He wasn’t really sure why Noah had been so adamant about him helping instead of his mother. When he stood back up, he saw Noah staring at the clothes in his closet.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t have the right clothes.” Noah looked over his shoulder to his uncle before rummaging through his clothes again.

“What are you looking for?” Rafael joined Noah at the closet.

“I wanna look like you.” Noah looked up at his Uncle. 

“What do you mean?”

“I wanna dress like you.”

Rafael smiled. “Aah so you wanna dress as sharp as your uncle, huh.” 

Noah nodded. He shrugged. “I don’t have suspenders.”

He grinned. “We’ll go shopping for some.” He looked through Noah’s clothes and picked out one of the few dress shirts Noah had. He also found a dark pair of jeans, colorful socks and a blue sweater vest. “How about this?” He looked at Noah.

“Yes.” Noah cheered. “Thank you.”

“Now go get ready for bed, pick a story and I’ll read to you.” 

With the story finished Rafael saw Noah was almost asleep. He tried hard to keep his eyes open, but it was a lost battle. “Night. Love you.”

Rafael smiled. He leaned forward and kissed the boy’s forehead. “Love you too.” He glanced over his shoulder at Noah one more time before he left the boy alone. On his way back to the living room he sighed. He’d been trying to fight off his feeling of dread for the end of this day. The end of the weekend. He made a detour to Olivia’s bedroom and packed his bag. He put the bag down on the floor and slumped down on the bed. He had to get a hold on himself. He needed to be happy with their current situation and he was. Finally after holding back his feelings for her, he didn’t have to do that anymore. Neither did he have to wonder anymore about Olivia’s feelings. To be here, to have been able to spend a weekend with them, to be able to kiss her, hold her and sleep with her in his arms was wonderful. He just needed to stop wanting too much too soon. He was afraid it would chase her away. 

“Wanna tell me what’s been bothering you?” Olivia asked. When he hadn’t returned from tucking Noah in, she decided to look for him. She was leaning against the door jamb, her arms crossed. 

He tilted his head from side to side, contemplating her words. He wasn’t sure how wise it was to tell her what was on his mind. “I don’t know.” He ran his hand through his hair. He finally looked at her. She was on guard, he could see it in her eyes. “I don’t want to put pressure on you or us.” He admitted.  
“Just tell me.” She walked further into her bedroom and sat down next to him. She was glad when he immediately reached for her hand and entwined their fingers. 

“I don’t want to leave.” 

She smiled at his words, happy to finally know what was bothering him and happy this was what was bothering him. “And that’s why you’ve been distant today?”

“I didn’t want to bother you.” 

She rolled her eyes at him, even if he couldn’t see it. “And I didn’t like the distance.”

“I’m sorry. Like I said I don’t want to put too much pressure on you.”

“I’m pretty sure I can handle some pressure. I don’t like the distance, Rafael. I like our new closeness and miss it when it’s suddenly gone. I miss you.” She squeezed his hand. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologized once more. “Being here with you and Noah, spending the weekend together and not having to leave, I want that every day. I hate this feeling of having to leave you two behind and going back to my apartment.” He let go of her hand and stood back up again. “I like my apartment. It’s a good apartment.” He saw her nod her agreement. “I never disliked the quiet, but I know it’ll be too quiet in my apartment.” 

Olivia watched him pace and couldn’t stop herself from smiling. In a way she liked seeing this side of him, the vulnerability and insecurity. The side he rarely showed and she knew she was one of the few who got to see it and she was glad he wasn’t hiding it from her. 

“I know it’s too soon to even talk about this. You and Noah need time and we need time to find our way in this new dynamic.”

“New dynamic?” She interrupted him, teasing him on purpose.

He stopped and watched her. This time he rolled his eyes at her. “Relationship.” He said a soft smile on his face as he said it. He watched Olivia stand up and walk up to him. She slid her hands from his waist to the small of his back and pulled him against her. He immediately wrapped her in his arms. “I didn’t think it would be this hard to leave you two behind.”

“You got a bit attached, huh?” She snuggled closer, her nose against his neck and inhaled his scent. 

“Yeah.” He said softly.

“Well we are quite attachable.”

“That you are.”

She slightly pulled back from him to look at him. “I’m just as attached, Rafael.” 

Not being able to resist her any longer, nor did he want to, Rafael leaned in and kissed her, slowly and languorous, taking his time to savor her. Finally, when air was needed, he pulled back. He smiled when she, for a moment, chased his lips.  
“We’ll find our way. I don’t want to rush this. It’s too important.” She saw him watching her and knew she had his undivided attention. “Rafael.” She cupped his cheek. “Us being a family, you being with us every day and night, that’s my end game. You are my end game.” She brushed her lips with his. “I’ll miss not being in your arms and waking up with you. I didn’t expect to get this attached this fast either.” She snuggled close against his chest. “You don’t have to wait till next weekend to see us again. Come over this week, we will have dinner together. If you bring a bag then you can stay over.” 

“I like that idea. There’s one problem though.” He felt her tense in his arms as he uttered the words.

“I can’t put my suits in a bag. They’ll be ruined.”

She pushed him away but he quickly wrapped her back in his arms. He laughed. “Thank you Liv.” 

“Always.” She kissed him once more. “Now let’s go cuddle and make out some more before you have to go home.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the living room. 

Rafael followed willingly. He’d follow her everywhere. He pulled on her hand to stop her. “This is home, Liv.”

The End


End file.
